Some info and a question for the BS

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2012
Some info and a question for the BS
10
Sun, 04-08-2012 - 4:17pm

Hello everyone I am new to the board but not the affair.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2012
Sun, 04-08-2012 - 11:19pm
Fear of starting over alone at 51, fear of change. Feeling worthless and not good enough because her husband has you. If she has not worked outside the home, what does she have to focus on? She may be hanging on to the financial security he provides. She may be afraid of losing her home and not sure where she will go.

If he is battered and miserable with her, why hasn't he filed for divorce? Why has he chosen to stay?
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 04-08-2012 - 11:56pm

Do they have kids? Does she work? Or is she financially dependent on him? Maybe she knows (even if she's in denial) that she's got mental issues and she may wonder if she'll ever find another man that will want or accept her as such. People stay in bad marriages for a lot of reasons.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2012
Tue, 04-10-2012 - 12:35am

So you've been in an A with this man for approx. half of his married life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Tue, 04-10-2012 - 10:51am

Hi,

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iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2012
Sat, 04-14-2012 - 3:16pm

It is proven by a Dr.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2012
Sat, 04-14-2012 - 3:39pm

To answer some of your questions I will do my best, first he is my best friend, and I am his, yes I was 35 when he walked up my driveway and it felt like he was an old long lost friend we became friends very quickly,

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-24-2005
Sat, 04-14-2012 - 3:46pm

I don't figure many of the betrayed spouses who frequent this Board would exhibit the behavior you are questioning.

Your affair partner's wife has a mental illness and so her psychiatrist might have the answers for you...knowing how her illness works.

Clarity


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-08-2012
Sat, 04-14-2012 - 4:45pm

Thats the problem with NPD'S they think they dont need one, so she isnt getting help for it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-04-2012
Tue, 04-17-2012 - 12:31am
I agree with Clarity, most of us here probably don't have Narcissistic Personality disorder. From what I understand people with that disorder don't do things that make sense, at least not to the rest of us, their world is all their own. We just gave some general reasons why the average BS might stay. She is not average. From what you describe there is no way to know what she will do or why she does the things she does.

I wish all of you the best in getting on with your life, whatever you all decide. It sounds like a difficult situation for all involved, especially the kids. Stay safe.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-28-2006
Tue, 04-17-2012 - 11:52am

Flyin,

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Well, it doesn't seem like asking her anything would make any sense, since she has NPD, as you say.