When Your AP goes on Vacation

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-04-2013
When Your AP goes on Vacation
2
Fri, 01-04-2013 - 1:48pm

Out of curiosity, how did you feel (whether you are still having an affair or have ended it) when your AP went on vacation with his/her family or went on vacation with just his wife/husband?  

Avatar for xxxs
Community Leader
Registered: 01-25-2010
Sat, 01-05-2013 - 12:47pm

 After several years of reading these posts i have questions?  Why do many women fall in pseudo love with their AP?   Do they not aquire other playmates?  Is it an EA with sex,or sex with ea?  To me enjoying the company conversation and sex do not require emotional slavery.  The ancient Norse culture callled in en Thrall (in emotional/sexual slavery) 

     The Ap being a friend would have obligations as would a friend with children or pets or a job.  Giri is for everyone.  So why the emotional drama.  We have friends we miss friends when they leave ,go on vacations can't meet,have household emergencies.  So why do some people put themselves throught sturm and drang is the lover is undertaking Giri? 

   I have had lovers,been the other man,had lovers, who had other lovers,wife who had others etc. I did have one difference we did not lie.  Cover up yes, not mention yes, but when necessary the truth, some of my lover knew one another and talked on the phone.  We were civilized.  I care for my friends, lovers,and others.  I want them to be happy and safe.  Perhaps it is that I care for them.  I do not think of myself in the value of loss but in the values of learning and growth.  I learned to be secure in myself.  To want happiness for others for I too gained.  I was going blind a year ago.  A person who had been a friend and roommate from years past just happend to work in a store I frequented.  Her boyfriend drove(she did not).  The hospital where the operation was to take place has a rule that only a friend or family member can pick you up after the operation.  My friend's boyfriend drove me home from each operation.  So I can see now.  Treating others has it's rewards.  Be happy for him and Happy for your self.  Wish happiness and enlightenment on all people.  Even if it has a cost to you.  In the end your growth will be rewarded.

chaika

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-01-2012
Thu, 01-24-2013 - 2:39pm

Oftentimes while involved in an affair, we want to believe the other person is truly unhappy with their spouse. So when they go on vacation or elect to spend quality time with their spouse, we wonder why they bother to cheat if they are so content at home. This happens when the affair is strictly sexual but the emotional base is still firmly established at home. They love their spouse and not you. You are for physical satisfaction only. If you're looking for an emotional connection, you should move on.