You've forgiven him for cheating. Now what?

How in depth of a talk did you have with him when you both agreed to give your relationship another chance?  Did he feel that talk should have covered all the bases, therefore rendering the subject, in his eyes, moot for the foreseeable future?

I'm in the process of renegotiating with my ex about our relationship and while I"m not totally convinced yet about things, I must say that I tend to avoid the subject of his paramour, but there are times when my vitriol bursts forth and he allows my blasts without turning on me.  In fact, there are times when I even think to myself that I'm being a little too much with it, but he's been taking it like a champ and says I have every right to those feelings--that he deserves it.  He knows what my bottom line is, so when he's met my criteria is when I will feel that I've negotiated in full for what I want and deserve from him.

Does your guy allow you your very valid feelings behind his betrayal without turning on you about it or feeling as if because he's settled it in his mind and he's with you that you should be over it and move on? That might be one of the triggers to your anger--that you're not done being witnessed by him.

Have you done any work with a therapist about how to navigate that minefield without losing a limb?