2 weeks out...really low day today

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-18-2003
2 weeks out...really low day today
1
Fri, 04-08-2011 - 11:59am

I found out almost 2 weeks ago that my husband of 12 years, the father of my beautiful daughter, the man that I trusted with every fiber of my being, has had an affair.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 04-08-2011 - 1:08pm

In all honesty though how would you know if he really severs his friendship with her ? He could just tell you he will to pacify you. Thing is he must do it because he realizes it's wrong to maintain a friendship with her, and not because he is being told he needs to do it. So unless he tells you that he is doing it out of respect for you and your marriage and because he realizes it is the right thing to do, then I would not trust that he will do the right thing and end the friendship. What he will do if he is not ready to end the friendship is go out of his way to hide this friendship from you. I know this from reading these boards and experience with my own H. He had an EA with a neighbor and when I found out he promised to end it and deleted her phone no. out of his phone in my presence. About 6 months later I had to use his phone and was looking for a contact in there and there was a no. that looked familiar (I had written the last 4 digits of her no. down without his knowledge) right after he deleted it. However her no. was under a mans name when I found it 6 mos. later. So this meant that he was not ready to end the friendship with her.