3 months in and still lost.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2011
3 months in and still lost.
7
Tue, 05-24-2011 - 11:08pm

Is it normal to still be totally confused and undecided as to what I want at this point. One day I want to be here and the next I want out. I

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Wed, 05-25-2011 - 9:43am

Hugs!

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-1999
Wed, 05-25-2011 - 4:09pm
Hugs to you. Who is to say what "normal" is for any of us? Normal is so far removed from our lives after D Day. I am 5 mos out and while I knew right away I was staying (he had mental issues before and during his A) and believed that was what was the root cause in his case. But who knows if that is normal.

I think that just surviving and taking things day by day is the only way to go and unfortunately that is probably what is "normal" for us all now until we reach a state of peace.

I can say once we went through counseling and got really at some root issues (along with more mental help for him) it seemed to get better.

Not sure if my post helps or not, but even now after I decided that we are staying together I have some days when I wonder why I am working so hard and if it wouldn't be easier to just say the end. But those days end and good follow and lately they are more good than bad.

Good luck to you in the decision process.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Thu, 05-26-2011 - 1:22am

3 months is no time at all to heal from such a huge betrayal. Really, it will take a year at minimum and up to 3 years to get over his affair. It took me 3 years to really get over his affair. Why do you have to see her 10 times a day? That won't help you heal at all.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2010
Thu, 05-26-2011 - 4:57pm

What you are feeling is completely normal.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-31-2011
Thu, 05-26-2011 - 9:47pm

she lives next door and it's horrible!

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sat, 05-28-2011 - 12:41am

My H EA woman does too. I hardly ever see her, but IF she does happen to be out front when I go out there I just go about my business and IGNORE her, don't even look her way.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-1999
Sat, 05-28-2011 - 3:29am
Oh geez, that is horrible. All I can tell you is be sure to keep your head hi like the lady you are and just ignore her. Hopefully, she recognizes she is trash and out of your league and will just slither into the corner like the snake she is and you won't have to see her too much. If you do, ignore her and live your life. Do not leave or go inside if you have made it to the point where you don't want to puke when you see her. Stand your ground and live your life. Trust me people like that don't even know what to do around a strong woman. They will just cower from you like the trashy snakes they are.