4 weeks in and feeling worse than ever.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
4 weeks in and feeling worse than ever.
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 11:48am

I'm new and need help.

I'll give the short version...

Rec'd a call on Dec 10


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 11:53am

I am sorry for your pain
sounds like you have enough proof for a divorce if you want
use the power you have (I know it doesn't feel that way) to get what you want
I mainly just wanted to say that you should tell everybody and anybody you want to
It is not like he was discreet for your sake huh?
He is abusing you and only you can make it stop

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 12:02pm
Thanks goddess.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2006
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 12:53pm
I am so so sorry that you find yourself here, but you will get lots of support.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-08-2009
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 1:18pm


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 12:51am

I just wanted to repeat it truly has nothing at all to do with YOU.


iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2006
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 1:19am

I am so sorry you are finding your self in this place in your life.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-30-2008
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 10:38am
I agree with all the other responses.
He probably would have had the affair even if you were super-model material. The OW in my case was 9 years younger (of course), and never had children (probably still has a flat tummy).....but from the neck up wasn't much to look at. H told me OW even told him he was "taking a step down" with her.
The OW is an ego-booster, makes them feel desirable and special...like they "still have it".
My H didn't like me telling anyone either, but I told whomever I wanted....It's your decision to tell who you want, not his. At this point, they don't make the rules.
I too, felt betrayed, (and a year later, still do), by H's family. We have been together 26 years and blood is obviously thicker than water. I have been so hurt about how MIL has reacted to his A that I figure I am better off not being close to her if that is her true nature.
I'm sorry you are going through this...it is true torture, I know.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 01-10-2009 - 8:18am
Your H is a selfish idiot.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-21-2008
Sat, 01-10-2009 - 11:20am

You are defiantly right that his "sorry" is woefully insufficient. Now this is going to be about what your H is willing to do to even get YOU to think about staying with him. YOU get to call the shots now honey. And this will show you how sincere your H is.

Your first step in seeking out help for yourself is the start of YOU healing. Your H needs to be aware that he caused a huge emotional trauma for you. This is not something little he did - this is huge. Of course he'd like to just act like this never happened - that would be so easy for HIM. However, that is not acknowledging YOUR hurt, YOUR feelings, YOUR needs.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-05-2009
Sat, 01-10-2009 - 5:45pm

I'm so sorry this happened to you.