8 weeks since D-day still lost

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
8 weeks since D-day still lost
10
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 1:01pm

My husband of eight years, love of my life for fourteen, engaged in an affair with a woman we met once earlier in the year I found out on November 11th. I had her email address and when he went to invite people for a surprise party he was throwing for my birthday he contacted her. I already knew she was attracted to my husband which is why i never spoke to her and he knew this as well. She didn't come to the party but she contacted him after the fact and he reciprocated.


They started the emotional part of the affair four days before our eight year anniversary and got together regularly for sex the month of October.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2006
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 1:10pm

I am so sorry that you are having to go through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2008
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 1:58pm

sorry you are here to post.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2008
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 2:30pm
Nik, I cant send you an email but you can send me one. I have some experience and knowlege of this issue that I cant disclose publicly. If you'd like to email me I'd be glad to share some resources with you. I'm so sorry for you, I really REALLY know what you're going through.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 2:50pm
Millie it says you've opted out of email via your profile but i enabled it on mine. I would very much like to speak with you about this it's ALL new territory to me. Thank you all so much.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Wed, 01-07-2009 - 4:29pm
Well, I suppose I'd call that a rather inventive, convenient and possibly even less damaging excuse for cheating, but it's still just an excuse.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-13-2008
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 10:31am
Nikki....I sent an email but couldn't tell if it sent. You can email my personal email at millie@jerrypittman.com
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Thu, 01-08-2009 - 3:55pm
Thank you myra though I'm not sure I agree with all you've said. My husband didn't use this as an "excuse" it wasn't the first thing out of his mouth when I found out about the affair he actually didn't come out with it until a month after I found out
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 8:35am
I hope your H is getting the psychiatric help he must desperately need after holding in this issue over the years.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-25-2005
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 1:22pm

Longtallnikki,


Please realize that I am in the same situation.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-27-2004
Fri, 01-09-2009 - 2:06pm
Thank you You'll also be in my prayers. My husband luckily wants to stop the trend. I told him if this ever happens again regardless of the why I was taking our son and leaving. He wants to face it and I'm so glad he's willing to. I saw our therapist alone and told her of the situation and when he saw her alone the next week they touched on it briefly. He was frustrated cause i think he wanted to get what he could remember out in the open. He says he wants me in the room with him when he goes through it all i want to be there not to know all the details but to show him I support him and love him no matter what. i just wish he'd trusted me enough long ago to tell me so he'd no longer have to carry this burden alone. just let your husband know (I guess) that you are there if he ever wants to talk and hopefully once he can/does talk to you about it he won't have a problem talking to a professional. In my situation personally I don't think