About to Explode

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-27-2008
About to Explode
5
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 9:28am

I am loosing my f..ing mind now. I am very troubled and upset that my h has a friend who want stop texting him or facebooking him. She is 14 yrs younger and is always the one to initiate it all. They are pure simple texts that mean nothing. She is a coworker. It is driving me up my tree. I cant handle it any longer and no longer know what to do. I am in fear mainly because h had an emotional fling with a girl 3 yrs ago. We nearly ended over this all. Since worked things out and things have been 400% better till now. I am at the end of my rope.


I tell him constantly how I feel. He says that it means nothing. Not doing anything wrong. Just plain and simple texts. I see them all he knows. He says he loves me and has learned from the past and would never do anythinhg to hurt his family again. Says I mean the world to him. Says completely nothing. I am not suspicious that he is doing anything just dont see the point in it all. Even asks him what he had for dinner. He is 38. Bottom line I dont want it to continue and he says that he is too embarassed to say anything to her or says not nice to ignore her.


I tell him daily and constantly that I dont like it all. I am crying about it daily. We are fighting constantly about it. He still says that she is nothing to him and that she just likes his humor. I am royally peed off.


I told him last night that I am tired of fighting and I dont accept any of this. I said that I am not living like this fighting any longer because soon enough we are going to get sick of it all and seperate for good this time. He said he doesnt want to loose me. Says he is only replying to be nice and doesnt want to be rude. I am still saying that I cant handle this cause you never know where it goes. He likes the attention for some reason and that bothers me. I told him that I wanted him to say to her that I wanted him to tell her to cool it with the texts cause it is bothering my wife and our relationship and he said he would do that. I also said that we have to reach a comprimise here or this isnt going to work out.


In the end he is still saying that he doesnt wan to be rude and look like a fool. I am just lost and hurt and everythng here. Ia m tired of fighting. I want to let it go. I dont want to snoop any longer cause this is destroying me inside.I dont want to make it the topic of fights. Just dont know what to do or where to turn. I am scared.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2009
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 9:48am

I'm so sorry you are in this moment.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 9:51am

First observation;

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 10:15am
I can understand exactly how you feel and your H should too.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-23-2009
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 10:33am

he needs to 'get' that even if he thinks it's uncomfy HE needs to tell her "look this kind of contact is inappropiate and needs to end" ....


he needs to 'get' that his marriage is MORE important than him feeling like a fool saying this to her.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Tue, 06-30-2009 - 11:06am

Hi Tanya,