adultry and bi polar

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2009
adultry and bi polar
11
Fri, 08-07-2009 - 12:46pm

I found out in April my husband of 31 years was having an affair. He has left me, For a couple of years he has had a few problems first panic attacks, then compulsion, then anger etc. I thought it was anxiety and mid life crisis , now I am quite sure he is actually bi polar with depression. He tells people things

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 08-07-2009 - 3:49pm

All the prayer in the world won't help your H until he decides he needs help.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2009
Fri, 08-07-2009 - 7:19pm

I have given

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-08-2009 - 8:54am
I understand your need to try as hard as you possibly can, but at some point, if you don't see any movement on his part, you have to think of your own mental health and well being as well as happiness.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-08-2009
Sat, 08-08-2009 - 4:44pm

Dear Carpender54,


I am so sorry to read about what you are going through. I have been lurking on this board for several weeks, reading the postings and marvelling at how many people find themselves in this position. This is the first time I have ever posted on a message board.


Your message spoke to me so loudly that I felt compelled to respond. I too have been married to the same husband for 31 years and found out in April that he was having an emotional affair with a co-worker. The agony and devastation are so profound that some days I don't know if I will make it through. I saw a counselor through my employee assistance program, and she strongly believed that my husband is also bipolar. He has also been to counseling and will have a mental health evaluation next week.


I completely understand your confusion. I just wanted you to know that someone out there is thinking about you and hoping that things will improve. I do not want to hijack your thread with my problems, but would like to ask you if you have told your children about what is going on with your marriage? Our five adult children do not know anything about this and it is so very difficult. I do not feel authentic but more like I am playing a part.


I hope that you find peace and the strength to carry on.

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2009
Sat, 08-08-2009 - 10:51pm

yes they know infact

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-01-2009
Thu, 08-20-2009 - 2:36am
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-22-2004
Thu, 08-20-2009 - 8:25am

So sorry you are going through this. I was married to my bipolar ex for 21 yrs. It was such a roller coaster, I so know what you mean. He is with a girl 18 yrs. younger than him, and they are living together, a girl almost our daughters age! My ex had two affairs, both times he left, the first time, the girl didn't stay with him, and he came crawling back, and then 4 yrs. later, he leaves again, when I found out about this affair. This time though, the girl stayed with him and they are now living together, and in fact they are taking my kids on vacation today, which bothers me so much!

I don't really have any advice, just know that you are not alone, and try and stay strong. It is so hard at first, and I cried everyday after he left for a long time, but I am fine now, so it takes time. I still get upset over things he says or does, but what can you do, it happens. Hang in there!

Lori

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-10-2009
Thu, 08-20-2009 - 3:18pm

GEESE!

T.J.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2007
Fri, 08-21-2009 - 7:17am

I haven't been on here in a while, but I wanted to say how sorry I am you are going through this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-21-2009
Fri, 08-21-2009 - 7:21pm
Although I was not married as long as you were, im just out of a 10 year relationship and a 5 month marriage, yes there is an affair.

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