Affair resulting in a child, healing.
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|Wed, 03-13-2013 - 12:40am|
I have been married for 7 years to my husband and found out he had had two affairs. When all this was going on i was pregnant with our 3rd child. I was constantly being monitored and on bed rest while still trying to take care of our other to with his demanding job. I never saw it coming or noticed the much of the signs like i should have. I never thought much of his late night or going out. I know his work did keep him out late some nights so i never questioned often just was the understanding wife. i thought we were soulmates and that we understood each other so well, that he would never have an affair. i have always told him it is better to walk away than to cheat on me. I can handle the truth better than a lie. So one night we were out with some family and friends at the bar and he drank too much and i found him outside talking to a female that was trying to flirt with him and he didn't stop her. this is when i was baffled and was seeing a different man. so that night i went threw his cell phone and my whole life change in an instant. there were text messages and all sorts of info in them that told me that he was having an affair right under my nose. We yelled, talked, discussed many details and i know i will never understand how or why this is happening. After him moving out to be with her a month later he decides he has made a mistake and wants to come back home which took him some time. he was still not being completely honest with me but i didn't know that at the time. but i decided to try and work things out especially because we have 3 beautiful innocent kids in the middle of this. so we decided to move forward start over with a fresh start. So after he moves back in and we are planning to relocate im trying to forgive him and things somewhat gets back to norma, two months later,l when he calls me and says we have to talk. i felt sick to my stomach and new it couldn't be good. when i got home he dropped the worst news i could ever imagine. The other women was pregnant and she says it is his. I am completely distraught and don't know what to do. i had already stopped working, transfered school info and packed up our home and told the kids. I thought i was going to die my heart hurt so much. She wasn't going to have an abortion again so this was going to be a reality. I went threw with the move and it has been about 3 months in our new location. I am not still able to come to terms with things. He has mad efforts to show me how remorseful and sorry he is. How can i get over this when it is going to be a constant reminder around of us infedility. I don't have anyone to talk to about this. i am considering consuling but fear of anyone finding out kind of keeps me from doing it. we haven't told our family. I don't know if i can handle this. I feel like this will and has ruined my life and soon my childrens when they find out. I can't walked into the baby section to get what i need for my youngest with out getting emotional. I think about it everyday and just don't understand how he could let this happen. As of now he text her once or twice a month to see how the pregnancy is going,she seems to be leaving him alone other wise. i do feel like he has determined to make our marriage work. there has been so many lies and hurtful things i still ask why he would do this to us. i gave up my life for him to follow him and his career while putting aside mine. Has anyone been threw this? How can i come to terms with this? I don't know how to move past the hurt and pain. I don't know if we will ever be okay again. I just think about all the details, the fact that they had this connection and now a child soon. I try not to talk about it or bring it up but it is always there. I'm constantly reminded from the music, to tv or just being around a baby or pregnant person. HELP!!!