iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2011
Sat, 10-15-2011 - 10:47am

I found out Monday.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Sat, 10-15-2011 - 1:45pm

I'm sorry ashcap but IMHO this is a lot of crap!

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011
Sat, 10-15-2011 - 1:48pm
Ash, I'm not buying that bull. I know now that I am partly to blame for our collapse. My error was more inaction- (doing nothing to try and change it), withdrawing myself. My husband takes the greater burden or failure and the affair is just the cherry on top. I personally don't think that a marriage can rebuild completely and or my marriage that's what has to happen- until oth of us were at rock bottom with a few choices left to us: fix it or leave it.

Have you read the wiki how article? How to earn spouse trust after an affair?. See a different perspective.

In life there are thousands of ways to get to the same result whether it's a positive or negative outcome. We just simply have to find our own way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2007
Sat, 10-15-2011 - 9:40pm

Sorry Ash, I'm calling bullsh*t on this too.

I was utterly devoted to my husband when it was all going on. Sex whenever he wanted, adoration all the way ... we were newly married when I found out.

My husband did it because he was a horrible man at the time. His moral compass was cracked across the middle, and he had a false sense of entitlement. I had to be sacrificed for him to turn back into a grown man.

Here's a couple of links that were given to me when i first came here ....

From your post it sounds like your hubby is remorseful, which bodes well for your future together. There's a book which is often recommended here called 'Not Just Friends' by Shirley Glass. Perhaps you could read it together if he is willing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Sat, 10-15-2011 - 11:36pm

Ollie beat me to it!!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 10:23pm

I would ditch this book and

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2010
Fri, 10-21-2011 - 8:09pm

I agree with what eeryone else has submitted!!

Hurts have taught me never to give up loving Be willing to take another risk and chance, otherwise tomorrow may be empty.