iVillage Member
Registered: 03-04-2011
Sat, 10-15-2011 - 10:47am

I found out Monday.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2010
Fri, 10-21-2011 - 8:09pm

I agree with what eeryone else has submitted!!

Hurts have taught me never to give up loving Be willing to take another risk and chance, otherwise tomorrow may be empty.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Sun, 10-16-2011 - 10:23pm

I would ditch this book and

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Sat, 10-15-2011 - 11:36pm

Ollie beat me to it!!!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2007
Sat, 10-15-2011 - 9:40pm

Sorry Ash, I'm calling bullsh*t on this too.

I was utterly devoted to my husband when it was all going on. Sex whenever he wanted, adoration all the way ... we were newly married when I found out.

My husband did it because he was a horrible man at the time. His moral compass was cracked across the middle, and he had a false sense of entitlement. I had to be sacrificed for him to turn back into a grown man.

Here's a couple of links that were given to me when i first came here ....

From your post it sounds like your hubby is remorseful, which bodes well for your future together. There's a book which is often recommended here called 'Not Just Friends' by Shirley Glass. Perhaps you could read it together if he is willing.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011
Sat, 10-15-2011 - 1:48pm
Ash, I'm not buying that bull. I know now that I am partly to blame for our collapse. My error was more inaction- (doing nothing to try and change it), withdrawing myself. My husband takes the greater burden or failure and the affair is just the cherry on top. I personally don't think that a marriage can rebuild completely and or my marriage that's what has to happen- until oth of us were at rock bottom with a few choices left to us: fix it or leave it.

Have you read the wiki how article? How to earn spouse trust after an affair?. See a different perspective.

In life there are thousands of ways to get to the same result whether it's a positive or negative outcome. We just simply have to find our own way.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Sat, 10-15-2011 - 1:45pm

I'm sorry ashcap but IMHO this is a lot of crap!