Almost one year later and still doubtful

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2011
Almost one year later and still doubtful
24
Tue, 09-06-2011 - 3:09pm

I suppose I just need some friendly advice.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 09-02-2011
Tue, 09-06-2011 - 9:28pm

I'm sorry you feel so hurt. Betrayals are so painful. It's understandable that you are concerned about the 21 year old. Society makes it tough for

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-06-2011
Wed, 09-07-2011 - 2:11pm

Thank you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Thu, 09-15-2011 - 3:20am
Sorry, but based on all you wrote it's kinda hard to believe he's not cheating, he's already stepping waaaaay over the line by what he IS doing for certain. The intent is there, the intent means everything. He's saying lots of things many of us heard at one time before we got the whole story. He's giving stupid excuses for his behavior - his behavior belongs to him and only him and has nothing whatsoever to do with you, he's simply making choices and being an idiot. Remember that actions do speak louder than words, I think he's being very deceptive and since you really want to believe him (we all did), you are being naive. He's a grown-up, not some hormone slaved teenager, and he needs to grow up and quit the crap. It's time to sit down and let him know what your rules are if he wants you to stay with him. You're walking on eggshells, that's a miserable way to live.

 

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Fri, 09-16-2011 - 10:06am

You say you want closure, but I don't know if you will ever get it. Closure would mean that you get the whole truth from him about what happened. You have never gotten that and likely you never will. He gets mad when you bring it up. Classic way for the cheaters to avoid the subject, get mad so you drop it.

It makes you wonder if you really did know the whole ttruth, would you be able to stay with him? Kind of a Pandoras Box, maybe you don't want to open it?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2007
Sun, 09-18-2011 - 7:25pm

I'm more than 3 years out from the horror of my discovery day. My head has cleared and my strength has returned.

One year is not enough time for you to have recovered your equilibrium. The good news is, you're half way there: it takes two years. Trust me on this. You're going to be OK.

You will never achieve closure on this; you will never find out the complete truth; you will never really find out why it happened. What will happen is that you will begin to accept that it happened, accept that you were not in control of it, and accept that you

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011
Wed, 09-21-2011 - 9:15pm

Anyone who wants to forgive their cheating spouse another chance and move on, should probably stop coming to this site.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-21-2011
Wed, 09-21-2011 - 9:44pm

WOW!!! In response to Tracyrenee1234.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Thu, 09-22-2011 - 12:36am
Sorry but he was texting 2 different women saying "he'd like to sleep" with one of them and his excuse was "because it was exciting" Have to agree with tracyrenee that he's most likely not going to change his ways anytime soon.
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2008
Thu, 09-22-2011 - 8:50am

your point of view is much appreciated, it needs to be said

this is a support board which should support any decision the BS makes - staying or leaving

Peace & Strength to you I hope your life will be much happier without the Drama King lol (I am sure it will be)

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Thu, 09-22-2011 - 10:04am

Ditto to what goddess and peacyma said!

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