And he spilled his guts... What now??

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2011
And he spilled his guts... What now??
4
Thu, 12-15-2011 - 10:06am
I posted my story the other day. He came clean and told me the truth... Or at least part of it. He admitted he slept with her twice before work. I'm sure it was more than twice, as they continued to text constantly months after he said this happened. But regardless, it happened. What do I do from here???
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2011
Thu, 12-15-2011 - 8:25pm
And (still standing) thank you for your words from yesterday. They really helped give me the strength I needed to say exactly what I needed to say to him! I appreciate it!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-13-2011
Thu, 12-15-2011 - 8:13pm
He's not still cheating and hasn't since September. I'm just finding out. I've always had full access to his email, Facebook, cell phone, laptop, EVERYTHING!! he leaves his phone with me all the time, always has! I always checked it, just to make sure, ya know. He out smarted me though on that you can not delete just one call from your call log on the iPhone. You'd have to delete everything, so they never spoke on the phone- only text... Well, and at work or her living/bedroom!!!! He never deletes Internet history on his phone, nothing!! ALWAYS wanted me to bring him dinner at the hospital and stay and hang out in his office. He'd parade me around to all the nurses and staff. I was always there. This man wears a bracelet that says "I LOVE MY WIFE"... he also wears a bracelet I had made for him that says "ever thine, ever mine, ever ours"... He never takes it off!!! We have an amazing relationship... So I thought. He tells me every day "thank you for our life"...EVERY DAY!!! Always very loving, attentive, affectionate, and just plain wonderful. We have an amazing sex life and he is always saying how lucky and blessed he is!! So you could imagine how confused and heart broken I am. I just do not understand. I want him to talk to me but every time he starts talking, I just want to punch him in the mouth!!! We are taking all five boys, his parents, sister, and grandmother on a cruise, leaving this coming Monday- Christmas. I'd rather die than go! But my kids are so excited and have been looking forward to it for forever! I can't swear I won't push him overboard. I MIGHT be "sorry" in the following months!!!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Thu, 12-15-2011 - 1:48pm

((((dmh81))))

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011
Thu, 12-15-2011 - 12:00pm
Hello again- I responded to you on other post. So I won't repeat all that, instead I'll add to it.

What I found in my own situation is that I didn't get the whole truth right off the bat. My H trickled it. I think I was placing the pieces of the puzzle my questions became more precise and direct and I would get different answers. That was also very hard because to learn you have been lied to and deceived is a crushing blow, but the continued lying is just devastating. The worse up has already happened so why keep lying? They believe that withholding information they are sparing us, but it isn't the case. After the first month, I still had many many questions. As I knew the xAP I emailed her and she agreed to answer questions for me. I got as much of the story as I think I'll get. Both had different takes on the relationship. It was interesting in that respect.

You just can't believe him or trust what he SAYS. I relied on my gut, my intuition. It was the only "lie" radar I had.

Get tested for STD's and if you plan to work things out he needs to do it as well. By that I mean he schedules it for himself. He has to take an active and proactive role. You can't do ANY of it for him.

Please take care.