Anger so much anger
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Anger so much anger
| Mon, 03-23-2009 - 11:46am |
I must be healing because today I'm angry. I'm angry at him,angry at her and angry at myself for not kicking his cheating butt to the curb! He is extremely remorseful, but , he was last time and the time before that too! Until my biz rocks, I am stuck.
He is trying I will give him that. I have said NO CONTACT if you even BREATHE her way I will know and that will be it. I sent him and email, I told him and I wrote it down and stuck it in his wallet. NO CONTACT! It's a deal breaker. No amount of kowtowing will get you out of it if you contact her again.
I know in my heart and mind she will try again. She is obsessed with him. It's what he does about that makes or breaks our future. I need to go prune apple trees and burn off this anger!
He is trying I will give him that. I have said NO CONTACT if you even BREATHE her way I will know and that will be it. I sent him and email, I told him and I wrote it down and stuck it in his wallet. NO CONTACT! It's a deal breaker. No amount of kowtowing will get you out of it if you contact her again.
I know in my heart and mind she will try again. She is obsessed with him. It's what he does about that makes or breaks our future. I need to go prune apple trees and burn off this anger!
My hat is off to all of you whose spouse has gotten physical with somebody else, I do NOT know how you deal with that at all!
My husband has had two "online" affairs, both times planned to meet the women in person before I found out. Second affair found out, said he'd stop - he immediately did NOT stop but went to greater lengths to hide it from me.
I have been seeing a counselor and we are supposed to go together but the fact is I am so ENRAGED every time I look at him, I just want to beat the crap out of him. I can't be in the same room, I don't even want to be in the same house. I hate him. I hate him so much I think I will explode from it.
We have had some very ugly fights, unfortunately with our kids as witnesses. His attitude was remorseful at first, but when I didn't get over it fast enough he quickly turned spiteful. This is MY problem now, according to him, because he said he was sorry.
I fully believe he is still engaging in cybersex, online porn, etc. He's just gotten better about hiding it.
I dream of divorcing him, but we are broke and I can't make it on my income. I thought I could fake it long enough, that we could live as civil roommates, but that's proving impossible as I seriously have to fight the urge to throw things at him every time he is within eyesight. And at least once, I did throw something at him.
I am seeing a counselor on my own, but it's not helping.