are all men like this???

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
are all men like this???
16
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 9:49am

Checking my H phone...A which I still do and probably will for sometime...I see an email on his phone...The email was sent fronm "henry" a married guy my H works with...I actually met "henry" last week..Henry sent an email to my husband that said "I would love to bang Susie".... I thought it was terrible that he would send an email to my H talking about wanting to bang someone other than his wife...Imagine if his wife saw this???????? What is wrong with men!!!!!!!!!!!

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 5:20pm

Sorry I didn't answer sooner but can't post from work. I never said it was alright to cheat ( although I did for 1.5 yrs)W found out, told her entire family, my entire family, and XAP family. Everyone knew. A ended abruptly. For me getting into A was a long drawn out process. A little word here, touch of a hand there, a little more liberties from time to time. Biggest mistake of my life. Really embarrassed to talk about it. But it doesn't change the fact that most men do talk that way you described. Most of the time nothing is meant by it, very rarely is it acted upon. IN no way am I condoning As. Thanks for listening.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 3:06am
What an arrogant idiot this guy is. Hopefully his wife will figure it out eventually. And hopefully NOT after the poor woman has gotten some nasty STD as a result of her wonderful H behavior. This is the same type of guy that will be begging his wife not to leave his arse when he gets caught. Makes me sick.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-01-2009
Thu, 05-13-2010 - 1:46am

Below is a link to one man's candid explanation of why he cheats, from this month's Esquire, by "anonymous"


http://www.esquire.com/features/reasons-why-men-cheat-0410


Some interesting food for thought there.


I have to say here that I never, in a million years, thought my husband would be capable of cheating and living a lie. I thought he had too much integrity to deceive and betray. Ha. The joke was on me.




Edited 5/13/2010 1:51 am ET by overcaffeinated
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 10:05pm
Z - it was just a question for him! No where did I say that I thought HE thought it was right to cheat! I simply asked a mans point of view...
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-03-2009
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 9:01pm
...what about Irishlad's post leads you to believe that he thinks it is right to cheat?...or, that he would know why a man would cheat?...I think he's saying that most would not cheat even if they engage in the juvenile men-speak...
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 7:25pm
Irishlad - since you are being so brave, let me ask you? What can possess a man that loves his W to think it is acceptable or ok to go have an A? What happens that they talk themselves into thinking this is permissible?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2008
Wed, 05-12-2010 - 1:02pm

Haven't seen any replies from the male population to your original question. The answer is YES.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-09-2010
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 6:30pm
Myra - funny you should use the word 'tank' that is the code word H had OW in his phone under. Must be a man thing. Had I been checking it back then, I may have suspected or wondered, I know for sure now I would. I still check phone records of every call, but because my H uses his phone for business too, I can't know all of the numbers, but I do check time, how much time spent talking, repeat calls, you name it. I do. and I probably always will check from time to time. I will not be caught being the last to know again if there should be an again. H even told step daughter he was having an A, can you imagine, and she saw me and couldn't say anything. She tried telling me over and over that I was too good for her father, and would be better off finding someone else that was deserving of me - what a horrible place to put that kid in, she was 25 years old at the time... Just horrible! Sometimes even used her as an excuse that he had
to run over to her house to help with something and I couldn't go.... horrible! They do say that men that hang out with men who condone cheating are more likely to cheat themselves. Funny thing is, my Hs co-worker, the only one he really worked with for years, was always having affairs w/ our secretaries, and gave H the cheap hotel to bring hor to down the block that sold time by the 3 hour blocks..... YUK!! So it does make sense. Hor found him off the internet, just like hor found the others, and co worker covered for him and told him where to go so they didn't have to keep doing it in vans, cars, dirty work shops etc. Went to hotel 3x in 10 months - I made him take me to the parking lot to check it out - boy was he squirming. It was a real lowlife dirty place, just like all the other places they did it. EW!
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 3:52pm

When my DH worked with a huge company in high tech, they sometimes got together for beer and cigars after work.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 05-10-2010 - 2:15pm
I've heard that figure too. But I guess that only matters if your H is one of those 60%.

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