This is my first post.
Hello brightonbabe, Yes you are describing an affair. Many WS try to downplay their relationships with the OW by saying they are "just friends". Read the book "Not Just Friends" by Shirley Glass. It will help you and your H.
Trust is something your H will have to earn with his hard work. He needs to accept responsibility for his choice to have this EA or A whichever it is. IMHO what he "says" at this point is not what you need to believe. An A is a lie and WS's had/have the ability to lie to the very one's they claim to love and cherish. Look at his actions! What do you need from him to rebuild the trust? I think I would look into a different counselor. To totally dismiss your H's choices in his relationship with his OW is unthinkable. It doesn't matter how "bad" or "difficult" your marriage is-- that is never an excuse to have an affair!! You are in the same marriage and you didn't have one right? You don't deserve this pain and I wouldn't listen to anyone who minimizes what you feel or tries to make you feel at fault for your H's own choices.
There are other BS's on this site who insisted that their H's change jobs. I am sure you will get some insight from some of them too. Hang in there!!!
welcome to the board. I know this is painful for you. Everyone here is very supportive and helpful.
Im sorry for your husbands affair. I know its hard. hopefully you two can talk about it and work things out.
Thank you for your feedback.
THEY ALL say they're only friends - what else could they say?