Bad Night
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Bad Night
| Sat, 03-14-2009 - 2:16am |
I'm going through a bad night. It has been about 6 weeks since my H told me about the A.
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Thanks for the advice. I really don't know what to do. I just looked at my H's e-mails and there was one from the OW's friend. It was reasonably innocent but he replied basically that he is with me out of respect and that his heart belongs to the OW. I am devastated. I have drafted a letter to this friend telling her not to contact my H and copied my H and the OW . Haven't sent it yet. Should I? Will it help or hurt? I have thought of just showing it to my H and seeing how he reacts.
Sometimes I feel like I should just tell him to go. But then
Katv,
If you reply to anyone then you need to reply to your husband. I would leave her out of it for now. If she continues to interfer after he stops contact then I would call her or if you know her personally then I would talk to her. Otherwise leave her out of it until he checks back into your marriage. He is running back and forth right now and doing a bit of fence sitting. (at least mentally)
He is living in the fog of his affair right now. The grass is greener on the other side because he does not actually have to water the lawn. It is a relationship based on fantasy and what if.
Thanks.
I did confront him. I told him I found the e-mail and was hurt by it. He said something like " I didn't say anything bad about you." I told him he made me look like the evil stepmother and the OW was Cinderella. Then I said " Do you want to leave?" He said no that he loves me and he wants to work on our marriage. The only way he will leave is if I kick him out. When I asked why he wrote that he thinks about the OW all the time he said that he does think about her but less and less all the time. He said he wrote that 2 weeks ago and his feelings have changed. He thinks about me and us more tha the OW now. It is his feelings of guilt of what he has done to me that make him depressed.
He has assured me that there has been no contact with the OW since he made the promise a month ago. I said I don't want him contacting this friend either. He said OK.
I also told him that I deleted all of his love e-mails (300). I thought he would be shocked, surprised or something. He really didn't seem to care. ???
Anyway I am hoping this is a breakthrough but am proceeding cautiously. He has agreed to participate in a marriage program to help us heal.
"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop." Herb Stein
katy,
you stated "he said he will only leave if I kick him out".