betrayed again but I can't leave him

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2008
betrayed again but I can't leave him
22
Wed, 03-18-2009 - 8:33am

Any suggestions to a person that knows she needs to leave the marriage but can not afford to?


My betraying H is back with the OW. I can't prove he is sleeping with her, but it doesn't matter. He is talking to her on the phone, helping her with personal matters, helping her finacially and telling me half truths about his whereabouts. He agreed that in order for us to reconcile there could be no contact with her. That was less than a year ago.


I know that I need to leave him. How does a person go about that with this economy? I do not have a job/degree. I am one of those 40- something wives that was a stay at home mom for 25 years.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2008
Wed, 03-18-2009 - 10:26am
I know I am in the same place as you. I have my own part time biz and
that helps but I cannot support myself on it YET.
Does your DH have stocks, ira, savings because half is yours. Find a good attorney that will set up a program to help you out. He, your DH, has to pay spousal support. Get into therapy for you and best of luck. You can do this
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-11-2008
Wed, 03-18-2009 - 12:50pm

Hi Daydreaming


I wouldn't let your financial situation completely stop you from doing what's right for you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Wed, 03-18-2009 - 4:54pm
I'm not going to tell you to stay or go, but ask yourself how you will feel in ten years if this is still going on behind your back.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2009
Wed, 03-18-2009 - 6:29pm
I am in the same situation. however my H has been evaluated by a psychologist and she has told me that he is troubled. His 2 affairs have gone on for about 3 yrs. and during that time I went back to school. I can't support myself yet(still need more training) but my H is wealthy and will have to pay alimony for sure. He knows I mean business and he is scared about losing me and knows he will never be able to have a relationship if he doesn't fix his problems. I am terrified of being on my own, but I have done it before and I can do it again. Education is the key.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-06-2007
Wed, 03-18-2009 - 8:24pm
can u go back to school? maybe nursing? thats what i did and then i lost that dead weight and did alot better
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-25-2008
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 7:07am

Thank you all for your kind and supportive words. When this OW became an issue months ago,I

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2009
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 9:20am
That's exactly it- don't enable him!
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 11:43am
You need to see a very good attorney pronto to find out where you stand legally and financially.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-1999
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 4:34pm
I'm sorry you are in this position. Is it possible for him to buy you out?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-08-2009
Sat, 03-21-2009 - 12:37am

I agree with going back to school.

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