Betrayed and devestated
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|Tue, 02-19-2013 - 3:28pm|
I have just started my journey of trying to heal after being betrayed. I am a 32 year old mother of two. My son is 6 years old and our daughter is 2 months old. My boyfriend and I had what I thought was the perfect relationship until recently. After finding texts throughout the last few months on his phone, I finally asked him Saturday for his Facebook password. He gave it to me, obviously thinking that he deleted messages. However, I know that facebook messages archive and they don't delete. What I found next was completely devestating and I am so lost and numb.
After scrolling through all of his deleted messages, I found 50 (I counted them) conversations with different women. He initiated all of them, asked them to meet him for sex and told them things that he doesn't even tell me. As I was reading through each message, I can't describe what I was feeling. Anger, pain, hurt, devestated, shock....just lost. I messaged many of the girls to ask them if they had actually met up with him. All of them said that they hadn't and they had only chatted about sex on Facebook.
When I confronted him, he cried. He promised that he hadn't physically cheated on me and that he never would. He said it was all talk and it made him feel good that other women were willing to meet up with him and found him attractive. These conversations have been going on since the beginning of our relationship. I feel that our entire relationship has been a lie and I am so lost. I don't know what is best for our family at this point. He promises that he will never do it again. I changed all of the information on his facebook and deactivated it so he can never get into it again. He said he is willing to go to counseling to make us work out because he said that he knows he has an addiction/obsession with women. But he says he would never physically cheat on me.
I honestly don't even know why I'm writing this in here. I'm just so lost and hurt. I want to keep our family together and I love him so much. I just don't know if this kind of behavior can actually be changed. Even with counseling. I guess I just need some support and don't know where else to turn.