AMEN TO U TOO SISTA!!
I' m curious why you would say it was 75% your fault and why you would feel like a failure.
I was much like you. I knew something was not quite right and kept trying to make things better for" him "and make "him" happy. It did not matter what I did he found fault. I felt unloved, unappreciated and invisible too.
My husband told me it was never my fault. That he thought he could do this and it was ok as long as I never found out.
Absolutely, the "pain" cheaters feel is self-inflicted, I have no sympathy, neither does my therapist!
I too find it interesting that she had to mention the AP wife being overweight (I suppose just another justification to cheat) As you said look at Elin Woods (soon to divorce her H) and a good thing for her and those little ones is that she'll be set up financially for life. Also look at Sandra Bullock and how beautiful she is, and her H chose to cheat with tatooed strippers and the like.Another beauty that comes to mind is Christy Brinkley and how her H was cheating on her. Which just goes to show you that you can be one of the most beautiful woman around AND have a perfect body too, and if it is in a mans character, he STILL will cheat. I think the reality of it is that many men will always want what they don't have at home, and that's why so many of them look at porn or fantasize about the women at the office. Funny I heard something on Dr. Oz about some men actually having a cheating gene in their DNA. Oh boy so now we all need to go get our mans DNA tested for that cheating gene before we marry them (big eye roll here) LOL
I hear ya, really I do.