For a betrayer

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-08-2009
For a betrayer
78
Thu, 06-17-2010 - 10:23am

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iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Sun, 07-25-2010 - 6:25pm

WHY must you always hit and run like that?

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2009
Sun, 07-25-2010 - 6:40pm
its a shame that you never have the guts to stand behind your posts. Why??? You always delete......is it SHAME??? I think I will start cutting and pasting your posts
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Sun, 07-25-2010 - 7:13pm

The night I last posted on this thread (before today), my H said, “Come outside with me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Sun, 07-25-2010 - 8:49pm

Oh, JD, I guess I hadn't paid enough attention - your mess is so similar to ours it blows my mind.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-09-2008
Sun, 07-25-2010 - 10:26pm

I think it’s pretty apparent that a LOT of people who pursue their own whims and pleasures at the expense of others have deep-seated issues; the thing that’s important is getting to the root of the problem and fixing it.


We can all say “sorry” over one thing or another, but unless the issue is resolved within it’s going to remain a powder keg.


Childhood issues?

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Mon, 07-26-2010 - 5:47pm

Yep, everybody has "childhood issues", but not everybody sees them as an excuse to do whatever they want, either.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-29-2008
Tue, 07-27-2010 - 9:29am
COf course its shame! I've said over and over how ashamed I am. Last night I had a hard night and unintentionally posted here. I realized this morning.and deleted. I've reported myself as a violation 10 times. I did not mean to post here or hurt any of you. My deleted posts were from 2 years ago. That was probably the worst time of my life. If you know nothing else about me its that I want to spare anyone on either side the pain and destruction of an affair and that is the only reason I come on ivillage. I am truly sorry and embarrassed and ashamed that I am writing on here now. Please know that there are women who have made dreadful choices and who do take personal responsibility as I have. I have never shirked my
responsibility. I was hurting and I hurt. I wish I could take it all away but I can't.
I am sorry for being somewhere once again where I do not belong as you work through the pain of your own betrayal.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2008
Wed, 07-28-2010 - 1:13am
I would like to clarify that A are not a MARITAL problem ..... they are a PERSON problem.... an A does not mean the marriage has problems..... only that the cheating party has problems.... most of us with many years of "rebuilding" and therapy have come to realize this. People are wired differently and have different coping mechanisms( or none at all)..... some use any excuse to "escape" their perceived problems... lacking coping skills can cause folks to drink, do drugs, eat excessively, have A's... all bad behaviors aimed at soothing in the short run, but potentially causing excessive damage ( to self and those directly in contact) in the long run. If Eas truly runs like AA, and I hope it does in more ways than just a support group, like the reparations... self reflection.... etc, then these boards are very similar. Most BS who post here are raw..... so "other" points of view can not be digested well.... so a little kindness and tenderness are in order.... and yes anger is part of the grief process.... being betrayed is the death of your marriage and the hopes and dreams of your marriage..... it takes a while to get a handle on a world ripped out from under you... I wish you luck and happiness in your journey..

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