BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK!

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
BROKE THE CAMEL'S BACK!
10
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 5:35am

I have recently posted on numerous boards which is reflective of the devastating state of my so called marriage. I have needed the support. Last night I heard my husband advising his friend on

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 2:48pm
You are so right! I am in the early stage of divorce and really concerned about my soon to be ex having even joint custody based on his horrific views of women. I recently overheard him talking to his new piece and calling her a fu**king B**tch. This is the new girl he should try to impress. Oh well. Like myself, she will be just 1 of I know now many victims...and she won't be his last!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
Wed, 07-21-2010 - 2:43pm

I met with a divorce attorney yesterday.What an eye opening disappointment was that. The advice I received was to file for bankruptcy, let him move out with his piece, and allow the home to go into foreclosure since the house is underwater. He did give a little hope advising me to file a motion with the court until the court settles the divorce to order him to pay half of the mortgage once he leaves! This whole process is so hard,but in my case the ONLY recourse. I don't intend to go into foreclosure. I can work part-time babysitting and even have someone rent until I'm back on my feet. I love my home and don't want to loose it..just not my husband! Although, I anticipate having to sell it through the divorce....In this economy and housing market...Yeah right. Oh yes, at the end of the costly consultation,he handed me the cost of the divorce $20,000 if all goes well!

Hopefully, by soon to be ex will want his piece bad enough to pay his way out! Then again, I overheard him calling her a fuc*ng b**ch
on the telephone. Voila,he found another victim.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-06-2007
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 6:53pm

jestlene,


i wish you the best and know that you are making the proper choice.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2010
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 11:09am

It sound like your DH has commitment issues. He gets really turned on by strange women whom he doesn't have to invest in emotionally. I'll bet he's emotionally void with you also. Men like him don't value and respect women. They see them as a sexual release and that is all. I have a brother who is like him. He hasn't had s*x with his W in years but is addicted to porn, has had numerous one night stands and is closed down emotionally. Your DH needs help. Even if you decide to end your M you should really convince him to get help for himself. You two still have a child to raise and it would be nice if she was in a healthy environment when she is with him. If he is acting like a dog in heat while being M he will only get much worse being S.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Sun, 07-11-2010 - 2:11pm

let go and let God!!!!!!!!

whenever i feel overwhelmed i say this simple prayer - it brings me much peace.

i know you must be so proud of the fact that your son is in college - my baby will turn 21 next week, i look at her often times and realize for every journey there is a purpose. the young woman she has grown to be while carrying with her the knowledge of her fathers actions has been quite an accomplishment.

many beautiful sunsets is my wish for you dear lestlene.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-18-2007
Sun, 07-11-2010 - 1:29pm
Stay strong!! Good luck!!!
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-28-2006
Sun, 07-11-2010 - 9:13am

I would like to thank all who have replied to my post. The replies have helped me maintain a sense of reality and peace more than I can say. Along with this post and others, I have printed and carry with me to read when I'm feeling down and wait for an appontment with an abuse counselor. I WILL move forward from this point and regain my life with my 2 wonderful children (my son is 22 and in college). Thank you

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-31-2009
Sat, 07-10-2010 - 10:44pm

i am so sorry - yet please know the steps you are taking now will serve to save you many more months, perhaps even years of pain.

i am wondering how one of those houses will help down the road when he wakes up and realizes he had it all and threw it away because he needed to feel 'hard', because strange women that charged for their sexual favors were more important than the love of his wife or daughter.

we have no power to control others jestlene, no matter how much we want to or try. you were in love with the man you wanted him to be, not the man he truly is. but remember this, you learned something from this, yes you have suffered pain and undoubtedly cried many tears, BUT YOU HAVE LEARNED SOMETHING FROM ALL OF THIS. the key is to define it and NEVER, EVER forget it.

set your sights on what is and what will be - NOT ON WHAT WAS. because if you truly look at what was, it was so far off track from what you really wanted or deserved.

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2001
Fri, 07-09-2010 - 11:32pm

If you have any hard proof, make a copy. You should also consider a small recorder device for in the house. You may need proof of his pervertness to limit access to your daughter. The courts usually won't just take your word.

Best of luck to you. Sounds like there is no reason to stay. He may have some sexual issues that require therapy or some dominance/self esteem issues seeing women as property or being so degrading. Either way, not a good scene to raise a kid in and not good for your self esteem.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Wed, 07-07-2010 - 1:04pm
Doesn't even pay any household bills? It sounds like there are no benefits at all to be married to him, and you could get an STD from one of his whores. You will feel a hugh weight lifted when you rid yourself of him. Good Luck