Cheating Wife

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2010
Cheating Wife
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 4:31pm

I`ve been married for 5 years, my wife is looking for men in chatrooms all over, I work at nights, she works in the mornings, when she is out working I open the spysoftware and see with how many men she chatted with, way too many, she is the one who start the privates...telling them she is divorced and she is looking for a man to fall in love with, we have a 20 month old baby, if she goes away I dont want to lose my baby (she chat with guys mostly from europe and southamerica) away her phone number.taking their number and calling them too...not to mantion showing my baby on webcam before she puts the baby to cry in her crib while she gets naked and star having cybersex with her "guys" can I approach this situation??..I dont have any family close by, I dont have close place to go to get support

Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
In reply to: brandknight
Mon, 09-13-2010 - 6:21am


Ok dude, lets get busy ok. Lets start with the 180:

The 180 is designed to help your spouse come out of the fog and to begin the work of rebuilding your self-esteem. "Self-Esteem" is often the first casualty. If your like me, just breathing took effort. May I offer some advice.

1. Eat quality food. No junk food right now. Veggies, fruit, grains. Your going to need to become healthy if your going to get threw this. I lost 30ish lbs. in the first three months after D Day. I had to force myself to eat a carrot here, and apple there, that sort of thing.

2. Exercise! What ever you know how to do, start small if you have to. I started with 15 pushups, crunches, leg lifts. Getting fit will help you burn off this stress and getting fit will help you feel better a lot quicker and allow you to make the choices that are ahead of you.

3. Get a book. I had Amazon fed ex about four books to me. One was really good. "Getting past the affair" was the title. There are others that are really good also. Now is the rainy day we save for. It is time to invest in yourself NOW!

4. Get a therapist.

5. Get a lawyer. Just get some answers for now, know your rights. Be prepared.

Sometimes it takes all this to get our spouses to wake up. You can do this.


I have 5 kids ages 16-10. Our D Day was August, 2008.


We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-10-2009
In reply to: brandknight
Sun, 09-12-2010 - 10:53pm
Why don't you check to see if you can buy or rent a camera to hide in your home near the computer so you can get physical evidence of her actions? The chances are she may well be entertaining in your bed while you are at work. the very last thing you want is to find out years later she has never been faithful to you and has just been using you for a meal ticket.