Confronted; different kind of limbo now
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|Tue, 01-20-2009 - 8:58am|
I couldn’t keep it in any longer and I really have no idea where I found the strength to make it through, but I did. I confronted H two nights ago. I told him that I didn’t want a divorce at this time, primarily because I was too humiliated, but that I thought we could live like roommates and be civil to each other. I just wanted it understood that I preferred to see him as little as possible and that I didn’t want to talk to him and he was not to touch me in any way.
First he acted shocked and surprised that I was saying these things. Then came the story that she was psychotic and had been trying to pick him up for months but he was trying to avoid her. She was flashing him and grabbing his butt and hitting on him – it was awful! He was too concerned for her well-being to just ignore her – she seemed so depressed! He’d feel responsible if something happened to her. He said that he never told me because he thought I would get angry if I knew someone had tried to pick him up. Why would I get mad unless he responded with interest? Yadda, yadda. I thought it was a really weak excuse and I don’t believe that is all that happened. He made the comment that she had been threatening to tell me but he wouldn’t say what she had threatened. When I grilled him on it he just said she was crazy and he had no idea what she might try to say.
Then he tried getting angry and putting down his foot. He started ranting about how he wouldn’t let me invade every ounce of privacy he had and that he’d done nothing wrong and I was being unreasonable. I’m quite proud of myself, I stood my ground and told him that he had forfeited any right to privacy and if he thought that was unfair he could go move in with this wh***.
Then came the tears and begging, with more tears, the professions of love and devotion and all the lip service he could muster. I told him to stop crying – that after all the times he has drug me through the dirt, I had no patience or sympathy left for his tears or self-pity and that I didn’t believe a single word he said.
We finally talked about this and everything before. He told me about other times that he had cheated that I didn’t know about before we got married. He relinquished his freedom with the internet and his cell phone and is now acting like a whipped dog. I know it’s an act, he’s just upset that he got caught, that’s all.