Just had a question for all of you.
You have a good point. If the child is his, he will have his obligations.
I told my H that at this stage in the "game", I cannot see myself being ok with his OW's child and the OW floating in and out of our life. I think it would keep me from healing and being able to move on if the product of his A and the OW popped in and out all the time. I also said that I cannot ask him to not see his child. That that is a guilt I could also not live with. I told him that ultimately it will be up to him to make a decision...one that he can live with. As it stands, he has decided that if the child is his, he will support it financially, but that is all. He will have NC with the OW or child.
Again, this is all how it stands right now. Who knows what will actually happen once the baby is here and paternity is proven. Even now, I find it hard to believe that he would not want to have contact with his child. He may not be a great H, but he is a very good father and he loves his kids so for him to make that choice surprises me. Part of me thinks he is just trying to make me feel better, that it is not what he really wants but for my sake he will do it as part of our rebuilding. As I said though, I don't know if I can live with knowing that a part of my H is out in the world without knowing him. The child is innocent and deserves to know it's father. I guess I just have to wait and see how it all plays out.
As for me, I'm doing ok. H and I have been pretty good lately. I've been trying my best not to bring anything up or talk about the A. I'm starting to realize that talking to him about it only makes me feel worse because I ask questions I really don't want answers to....and because he's trying to be hones,t he answers them. The OW has been irritating the cra*p out of me because of the lies and whatnot that she is continuing to spread. I'm trying not to let it bother me because she's really just making herself look like an idiot.
Anyways, how are you doing?
Don't bother - she is clearly delusional and wants to keep the A going in any way possible.