to could I be wrong- new discussion

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
to could I be wrong- new discussion
12
Tue, 03-23-2010 - 11:20pm

Ha , I was getting lost too


I am excited you are going to the MC. I found mine listening to a radio show called new life. The website is newlife.com

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2010
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 4:02pm

I dont think I can emotionally disconnect from the sex.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Wed, 03-24-2010 - 7:54pm

Funny, I have come to enjoy sharing with you as well


I still talk and text with MR Downstairs but it is just friendly or work related


I know he would like it to be more But he respects my boundaries. I certainly didnt want to misrepresent myself once I decided to give my marriage real effort.


I understnad the feelings your Mr downstairs has on you and the decriptiveness of a date in a fantasy place.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Fri, 03-26-2010 - 2:53pm

Im guessing the office didnt make it back together before the weekend


Hope you are doing well. I am ok today , so thanks for asking


I get a kick out of talking with you here, like friends I feel I can share anything with you. I havent had a friend like this in a long time.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2010
Mon, 03-29-2010 - 3:43pm

I don't even know where to start. I now now know what you meant about your husband finding our about your texting and talking to another man and being hurt. He found my email open ( I am so stupid ) and read the emails from our friend. He found them Wednesday and didn't say anything to me. He looked at everything he could find Thursday and Friday and then Saturday afternoon he told me. I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. I would have expected anger or yelling but he didn't do anything like that. He made us a great lunch and took me out to get movies and bought me ice cream. Then we came home and he sat me down and told me everything. He said he understood why I would do it. He asked if I really liked the guy. He said based on the things I said he knew that I liked him. He wanted to know if I planned to stay with him. He wanted to know if anything besides talk had happened ( and like you said I don't think he believed me ). I told him that it just felt good to be wanted and liked again. He was so hurt that I started to comfort him about it. And then I remembered everything he had done. It was likea wave of fire in my head. I din't say it but I will tell you what I was thinking.


I was thinking F YOU. I would never have been doing any of this if it hadn't been for you. I was actually surprised that to see him hurting and still care about it, but I also felt some satisfaction. Almost like saying " Good, I hope one day you hurt like I do ". I felt so conflicted. I felt bad for him and I feel guilty for hurting him and at the same time I wish I had done what he had done and he hurt like I did.


Now he wants to know what I am going to do. I told him that I hadn't done anything but talk about my situation at home and some things that happen here in the building. Just entertaining stuff that made me feel like I had a friend. He said that it was wrong and that not including sex it was the same thing all the way around. He said that if it was just " fun office chit chat " then i would have told him the jokes and included him the way I did about other office friends. I have told him before about all the inner office stuff so I had to admit he had a point. I told him that I wasn't going to do anything and that I hadn't done anything. He told me that he didn't understand why I would do it 8 months later and not right in the beginning. He thought things were going so well and now he just felt like I didn't care or believe that we could work things out.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Mon, 03-29-2010 - 4:58pm

well Im not a told you so kinds girl but

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2010
Mon, 03-29-2010 - 5:58pm

I really feel better knowing that you guys are suffering the exact same thing that we are. I know that sounds really bad ( I didn't mean it like it sounded ) but it almost gives me hope. I am a proactive person. I feel like I am floating along just watching things happen to me or something.


Tell me what you think of this. I don't want to give up Mr. Downstairs. It doesn't sound like you want to give up yours. I think finding someone who makes us feel like that is a good thing right now. I don't feel like there is anything wrong with it. But my man does and it sounds like your man does too. So tell me what you are going to do. I want my Nascar ( I laughed so hard ) back. I want to make a plan of action and do the things I want to do to him ( and please to give me what I want ).


I feel like this is this right course of action for me. I don't feel good about waiting and being at the mercy of my circumstances. I think it helps me to talk about this. Please tell me if I become too graphic in things. I found out today that I couldn't type the F word here. But I have questions about how things feel and don't feel physically or thoughts about our relative other men " I like that term as it applies to them ". I am not going to go wrong there but that doesn't mean I shouldn't have an outlet for that thought or feeling. Who else could we tell if we had wild thoughts or dreams. I guess I just need a place where I feel like I can say anything. So if you are comfortable having me as the same kind of outlet ( because if I feel like

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Mon, 03-29-2010 - 9:03pm

ok truth time, If you want to make it with H

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2010
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 5:29pm

I do believe that my H only did what he did because of some real issues that he never spoke to me about. He had so many things to resolve from his childhood that stayed with him that it made me think he should be in a hospital or something. But I am coming to believe that he truly feels sick about the whole thing.


I had a talk with Mr. D and let him know that our thing was fun but that it was hurting my chances for success in my marriage. Can you believe he told me that it just made me even more beautiful in his eyes. Before I could do anything he told me to " take care" and then he KISSED ME!!!! I couldn't believe it. He just leaned in and kissed me. I guess I could have moved but it happened so naturally and so fast I just froze. I don't even think I kissed back. WOW! Did anything like that happen to you when you called it off?

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-10-2010
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 6:25pm
I made myself and email so I could receive conversations from you directly. I don't feel like this is the smartest place for some things. I know I can delete anything that comes to me personally. Anyone can read this and something too descriptive could come back to haunt me. Let me know in your next post if you want to make this a little more private. I feel like I can be more honest there. Today freaked me out a little.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-25-2010
Tue, 03-30-2010 - 8:38pm

No trouble being personal with you and if you are comfortable giving me and email I will email you and make one to


Truth is I came from a moderately abusive home, bad stepdad etc


no sister until I was 12 and I moved out at 17, all girl catholic school, no dating


no boys and certainly no talk of the SEX word

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