crying

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2009
crying
9
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 6:31am

So I am new here. My

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2008
In reply to: hurtandlonely81
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 7:12am
I am so sorry you are here in this AWFUL place in you life.It hurts to know you've been betrayed. EA's hurt just as much as PA's and more because of the deceit. You are seeing a therapist GOOD. Why isn't he going with you? Is he remorseful? have you made it clear what happens if this continues?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2009
In reply to: hurtandlonely81
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 7:49am

He is remorseful and he would go if I wanted him to. I know that it is going to sound crazy but I want to go by myself before I have him join. He is very remorseful completely has changed and every request I make he gladly does. We would have the married I have always wanted I just can't get past this. I want to but, it seems everyday to get worse. For example I have been crying all night I just can't stop. Everything reminds me of those two. The thought that they work together which it what the graphic texting was about just about kills me. I just want to give up its like after

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2008
In reply to: hurtandlonely81
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 9:06am
I know I have been down this very lonely path 3 times. Getting counseling is the best thing you can do for yourself. You might need meds and there is nothing wrong with taking them to help you. Talk to your therapist and your doctor. Just posting here helped me a lot. Talk to you DH as well he needs to know how you are feeling.
S


Edited 3/22/2009 11:11 am ET by selkiescot
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
In reply to: hurtandlonely81
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 12:32pm

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change,


The courage to change the things I can,


And the wisdom to know the difference.


This is one of those acceptance deals.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: hurtandlonely81
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 12:54pm
Is there any way he can transfer to another dept. at work so he does not have to work alone with her?
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2009
In reply to: hurtandlonely81
Sun, 03-22-2009 - 11:24pm

Hi guys thanks so much for the encouragement I could realy use it right now. He really can't get transfered because if anyone finds out why and she would tell everyone he

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-08-2008
In reply to: hurtandlonely81
Mon, 03-23-2009 - 7:24pm

Hi Hurtandlonely81,


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-24-2009
In reply to: hurtandlonely81
Tue, 03-24-2009 - 7:12pm
Hi,I,m sorry for your pain.Three years ago my wife had an affair,she didn,t tell me I found out about it.I loved her so much,gave her everything,we went for councelling,for about 6 months,things were going along nicely,I had forgiven her,and was just starting to trust her again,when BAM,she did it again,I found an e-mail she had written,professing her love,once again,but to another guy this time.My point is,I was a fool,and wasted 3 more years of my life,I still love her,but could never trust her again,and if you can,t trust someone,you will never be truly happy with that person.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2009
In reply to: hurtandlonely81
Wed, 03-25-2009 - 9:04pm

I am going thru this a 2nd time and it is brutal. My advice is that you both go for individual counseling(you for support, he to figure out why he did this) and then go together for help in rebuilding . He absolutely MUST go b/c he will do this again if he doesn't understand why. If he says he'll go this is a good sign.

Read the book"After the Affair" by Janis Abrahms Spring. It's very helpful and have him read it to.