Cybercheating Via Webcam

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-31-2009
Cybercheating Via Webcam
3
Sat, 01-31-2009 - 2:55pm

Well, I am new to this so bare with me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Sat, 01-31-2009 - 10:20pm

i am so sorry for your pain; you are right this should be the happiest times of your lives both of you. he however has chosen to bring others into your special relationship - why - simple because all that is important to him is him.

my husband too was viewing women on a webcam, then soon enough that grew old - and he began meeting them at motels or their homes and having unprotected sex with them. he fathered an illegitimate daughter on top of everything else.

you are going to need to get some real answers - the whys. do not accept one line replies. if he is unwilling to have a real heart to heart and drop the bs line that it is simply porn then your next move should be handing him his suitcase.

i am old enough to be your mom; my h began this crap when i was in my 20's; it has been one betrayal after another. i was not willing to deal with the reality of the situation and he continued. living with a cheater, IT IS HELL. your life will spiral out of control - it is no kind of life for someone as special as you or your beautiful child.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Sun, 02-01-2009 - 1:02pm

I am so sorry this is happening to you! <>

It is not just porn, it is cheating.... he's involved in intimate acts with real people. Saying it's just porn is a cop out. He needs a reality check. As hard as I know it'll be for you, because I've been in a similar(no proof here on webcams, emails which turned to at least 2 real life affairs), you have to be clear on your feelings on this. There is no middle ground in my opinion. It starts like this and pretty soon it'lll meeting irl and a p.a.

Maybe he's in denial that's it's just the internet but Im here to validate your fears that it is not.

I know that kicked in the gut feeling and the denials we try to tell ourselves that it can't happen to us.... don't ignore this sign ... make him understand that this isn't acceptable behavior in your marriage. You don't have to put up with it. It's not 'just porn'. You are right and he is in denial. It's cheating, plain and simple. Maybe he needs to evaluate what's important in his life, who is important in his life and find out why he feels the need to engage in sexual behavior with other people.

Good luck to you, come here and vent, ask questions, seek advice, listen to other's experiences... it helped me tremendously. I'm almost 6 weeks from dday and my dh has bent over backwards to apologize and seek help, both individual and with me. It hasn't been forgiven or forgotten yet but I know that we are on the same page. You deserve that in your marriage.

<>

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-16-2009
Tue, 02-03-2009 - 1:11pm
I'm sorry your having to deal with this.my bf has laid and cheated and it all started with him saing its just porn and everyone's done it. I'm a visual kind of guy so it for us.