Depression & stress

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Depression & stress
Thu, 11-01-2012 - 7:14pm

I'm just curious how common it is to experience depression and stress/anxiety from a spouse's cheating?  I'm guessing there's a lot of us like that and I don't wish it on anybody, but it also helps to know you aren't alone.  I guess I should be relieved that my DH appears to NOT have gotten physical with either of his "friends", but this stuff really does leave you with so many feelings you don't know what to do with.  Depression runs in the family, so likely I've had some degree of it forever, but I think I've used far too many kleenex the past few years.  Can't tolerate antidepressants, so I'm on my own; I've also developed stupid gastritis from the stress of the past couple of years - recently I got ticked off when it seriously flared up (does that every 5 weeks or so) and told my DH if life was fair, it would be HIM who has gastritis; his comment was he wishes it was him, too, so the guy is trying. 


All of this stuff just leaves lingering emotions, I sometimes wish I could just run away from my whole life.  I recently stopped counseling, I just HAD TO, I really needed to not be doing that for now.  What do the rest of you do with all the leftover feelings?  I do all I know to do, just wish none of this stuff ever happened.


I noticed a few minutes ago something I'll warn the rest of you about just in case you also didn't know - there's a profanity filter on posts now, my first one got rejected, which I guess is a good thing!  It was a pretty tame word, too! 


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-22-1999
Fri, 11-02-2012 - 12:37am
Myra, Wish I knew what to tell you, but I think the leftover feelings are just there for us to live with. I personally had depression and anxiety but didn't stay on my meds really long as I felt the cause of my anxiety wasn't something I could medicate away. We stopped therapy the first time because we thought we were done and then a year later we went back for a new problem.and while I LOVED it my H hatred out because the
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-11-2000
Fri, 11-02-2012 - 1:25pm
Myradorn, I totally understand and feel the same way. Its been over a year since i found out and I am still struggling. Still have nights when I cry myself to sleep (last night being one). I have felt like I just wanted to run away too, only my kids keep me from doing so. They are my life and what keeps me strong. I struggle with depression but can't handle the meds. I actually would like to go to counseling but can't really afford ot do so and can't find a counselor worth anything where I live. I know one thing that helps me is I take a kickboxing class! Its a great stress reliever, anger reliever (just picture the faces of the people you are angry with on the bags and punch and kick away!!). Also, its a great antidepressant!. My doctor told me that exercise is one fo the best, natural antidepressants and it does honestly hlep. I missed a month not too long ago of kickboxing and boy could I tell it not only physically but by my mood. I hope things get better for you and just know you are not alone. All us BS struggle with after effects adn leftover feelings. I wish there was a magic wand to zap them all away, but unfortunately there isn't.
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-06-2012
Tue, 11-06-2012 - 4:19am

I think depression and stress must be very common.   Being betrayed by the person you should be able to trust above all others brutalizes one's soul.  You are heartbroken, bewildered, blind-sided.   It has an effect on your health, just as you said with your gastritis.   I just had a medical appt today and my heart rate and BP were way up.  It's hard to function when you are shattered, can't rest and don't know what the future holds. It's so frustrating that the majority of the fall-out lands on you when they are the ones who cheat.  Thanks for the language filter warning.   I just joined and will try to not get carried away with naughty words! :)