did i make the right decision?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-14-2014
did i make the right decision?
Mon, 04-14-2014 - 1:30am

my husband had an affair with another woman in 2012, but until now he kept n denying it. my husband left in 2013 to work in saudi arabia. two days ago when i opened his facebook account there were messages and pictures of the other woman, pictures of her and my husband kissing. when i aked my husband about it he still denied it. so i told him i will leave him and take our two kids with me. he texted me that he is in the hospital becasue he tried to commit suicide, he told me that he cannot live without me. i don't now if i made the right decision in leaving him. did i?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-20-2009
Mon, 04-14-2014 - 11:21am

Only you can decide if that decision is right for you.  Regarding his "suicide attempt"......can you verify that he is or was in the hospital.  He can say he can't live without you, but he seems to be doing a pretty good job of it anyway.  My ex cheated on me for years, and always denied it, even though I knew who they were, where they lived, etc.  He had many one night stands, and at least two long term affairs, and NEVER admitted to it.  He had this wonderful habit of trying to start an arguement on Friday night.  I refused to engage, and that made him furious too.......so he'd walk out.....and be gone all weekend.  I knew his game, good way to have a weekend with the current bimbo, and blame it on me, all my fault.  He pulled that one once too often, for a week in Florida with bimbo.......so I filed for divorce, and when he got back, I told him to NOT come in the house, go live with your puttana.  At that point, he laughed and walked out.  But when he was served with the papers, he was in shock!  Then he LOVED me and LOVED his three son (until then nevr had a kind word for them).  He begged me to drop it.  I showed him the door.  He said "I can't live without you, I might do something drastic!"  I didn't believe him, but I also know that if someone does something stupid, they're a very SICK person......and of course he never did anything.  And a month after the divorce went thru, he married his current woman, and she eventually divorced him, too.  She found out that if they cheat WITH you, they will also cheat ON you, because marriage vows mean nothing to a man who will cheat.   If your husband truly did try to commit suicide, then he's mentally ill, and you're better off without him.  More than likely it's just a ploy to gain your sympathy.  He's been gone so much that you're used to being alone.  I wish I hadn't waited so long (18 years) to get rid of my cheater.  Talk to a lawyer, see what your rights are.....and good luck to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-05-2010
Fri, 04-18-2014 - 2:30am

You did make the right decision, IMO. He has shown he is a repeat cheater, so clearly trouble. It's ironic that your husband is in puritanical Saudi Arabia, of all places. Maybe you can report him to the authorities and have him receive 40 lashes!!!

Avatar for khatru1
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-07-2004
Fri, 04-18-2014 - 12:00pm