Do I tell her I know of the affair?

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-18-2009
Do I tell her I know of the affair?
Sat, 04-18-2009 - 11:11pm
My wife recently left our 8 month marriage and 7 year relationship because she has decided this is not the life she wants anymore. I felt blindfolded. I was not aware of any problems in the relationship. We never fought, rarely argued and spent time with one another. In reading her email, I find out that she has been seeing another man and is love with him. I wish I would never has snooped. I only did it because she wasn't providing me with the answers I needed to make sense of everything. Since reading her email, I feel like I have fallen even more emotionally.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 04-19-2009 - 12:16am
You can tell her you know she hasn't been honest with you and that you read her-mail, but she will probably be mad that you did because a cheater NEVER wants to get caught. She will not come to you and admit she is having an affair unless you stick the proof in her face. I would not care if she got mad if I were you cause how else are you going to get to the bottom of this if you don't confront her about it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-13-2009
Sun, 04-19-2009 - 12:52am

You know she's manipulating you and keeping you where she can control you, I've been well and truly manipulated myself.

I felt awful about going through H's credit card statements....when I caught him out and confronted him about OW,

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Sun, 04-19-2009 - 8:33am
At the moment you think you wish you hadn't snooped, but you were clearly driven to it by a need for answers.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Mon, 04-20-2009 - 1:23am
I don't believe in not knowing, until you know you have