Do you know when it all started?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Do you know when it all started?
8
Wed, 02-18-2009 - 6:51pm
Do you guys know around the time when the affair started?
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Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-19-2008
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 12:57pm

I have a very good idea, I do know that the calls and texts started on December 21/07 at 10:10am, that was 20 minutes after he told me he loved me, we had been together, and I left to go Christmas shopping for him.

Like your H mine started sleeping with his phone, his excuse was that someone was bugging him for a job and he didn't want the ring to wake me or the kids up. UMMM HELLO turn the damn phone off. He started staying out later and later, one night the kids were staying at my sisters and I phoned and told him that, and asked him to come home so we could have some time together, his response "I am going to play poker with the guys, DO NOT call me, I will be home when I get there, got it" this was so out of character for him, I was really taken aback.

he told me that if it wasn't her it would have been anyone, what the hell does that mean?

he met her at work, a job I found in the classifieds and sent to him, I will forever hate myself for doing that. I wonder if he would not have taken that job if this would have happened.

My d-day was January 21/08, he told me he was 'done" I asked if there was someone else he denied it, obviously the cell phone bill proved otherwise.

I've made it thru all the firsts, birthdays, holidays, summer etc. On the first year of the anniversary of d-day, the phone calls, him moving out, I was pissed right off, tons of anger. I am now 13 months out and its still tough, especially raising the twins on my own, but I seem to be doing it LOL.

(((HUGS)) to you.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-05-2008
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 2:28pm

It sounds like you and I were in the same boat.

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-02-2009
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 3:25pm
I have a pretty good idea of when the A started but the "anniversary" if you will, that gets me is the day she got pregnant.

 


iVillage Member
Registered: 11-29-2007
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 3:29pm
I was about 6 months pregnant also.
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Lilypie 1st Birthday Ticker

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-07-2003
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 3:51pm
D-Day was on my father's birthday.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 3:54pm
I never knew the exact day anything started but now as I look back the clues were there. I can remember specific things that were said that I never gave a second thought but once I found out what he was up to I said to myself "so that's why he asked me this or that question about the neighbor." So in looking back I should have known something was up. I guess when you trust someone it doesn't cross your mind to question things. Makes me feel like kind of a fool now though that I didn't pick up on a few things.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-12-2007
Thu, 02-19-2009 - 4:07pm

I think it was somewhere around the time before our 10 yr anniversary or after it. We had just had our third baby the one he begged for and acted like a total baby about because I didn't want to have another one so soon. I remember talking to him about everything we were going to do when he came home. I never knew he cheated. He came home and was so loving, I just thought it was because he missed me.


Later I found out he slept with us the same week. The really horrid thing about it was that while he was in Colombia I almost had a mental breakdown because I was so tired of the Army and being alone. So, when he came back he went to some of the people we went to church with and told them about what he did. They told him not to tell me yet because they knew what a really hard time I was having with everything. I had postpartum and everything seemed so hard.


Anyway I didn't find out until 2 yrs later or 6 months ago. You know I always thought that time makes things seem less painful, but it still hurt to hear it. I was about to leave him while he was in Korea. I had met someone and I told him about

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Fri, 02-20-2009 - 1:04am
Every little date nags, doesn't it?