E A has me torn apart
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|Tue, 06-30-2009 - 6:10pm|
Will try to make long story short - My h of 10 yrs. became too friendly w. a girl at work, took her to & from work, shared lunches, bought her cigarettes, etc. It was a long, hard battle until she moved out of state. I'll never know if he would finally have honored my wishes to leave her alone or not. I forgave & forgot - until recently when I was reminded of it. He now has Debi on his cell phone memory, just like he used to have Darla's. He said he only talks to her about work related things, but he called her at 7:30, way after work hours. What do I do?
Also, he has regularly been going to Kay's house. She lives 2 hrs. away, & is his brother's wife's sister. He says he has to go there & work on her house because he has to keep his brother happy! She is his ex flame from high school. She is not at all attractive & not his type at all. He's been going there off & on for over a year. Her hot water tank needs fixed, her bathroom needs retiled, etc. He put a window in for her. A month later, she decided she wanted the window moved! He moved it for her!! I told him it was time to cool it. Enough's enough. He refused, saying I wasn't going to control him. I said I will go with him & help him, then. He refused to let me go, too! I showed up once, anyway. They were both very uncomfortable. I've considered going there every time, but he goes on the sly. I don't find out till later. Then he denies it, but his credit card shows he got gas in her town, her phone # on his bill, etc. He refuses to stop going there. This has been going on a long time. He isn't hurrying to finish there. I've considered talking to her & telling her it's destroying our marriage. I doubt she'd care. Also, I want HIM to be the one to put a stop to it, & UNDERSTAND why it's wrong; otherwise, he'll keep finding others. This is an emotional affair (at least!) It's just about wrecked our marriage. He even stayed the night there. My trust is gone, and he has just about hurt the love right out of me. I told him that. He doesn't seem to care. We barely speak. Now he's going out of state to see his son whom he hasn't seen in many years. I'm thrilled for him & told him so, but he doesn't want me to go along. He wants his daughter to go. His brothers will go. Kay will go (in her own car). It's a family gathering for the 4th. He insists I stay home. What would you do? Seriously?