Effective Consequences for an EA?

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-02-2010
Effective Consequences for an EA?
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 10:09am

A year ago I found porn on my husbands computer. I was very pregnant at the time and we weren't having sex. I confronted him and asked if he was emailing texting chatting with anyone. He said no. I laid down the boundary and said no interactive sex.

This morning I was looking for a tax document on his computer and came across and IM chat text he had saved under "my documents", the retard. I don't know the date of the IM but it has the classic "is your wife asleep" line in it.

My husband just admitted to an alcohol problem and has been going to AA for a few weeks. He is also seeing a counselor. But it appears that instead of finding escape in anything health he just moves from one taboo to the next.

My question is what is an effective consequence to online affairs? I don't want to ignore it b/c I don't want him to go down this slippery slope any further. But I don't want to do something that will make the situation worse.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-17-2010
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 12:35pm

IMO, you definitely can't ignore this.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-08-2007
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 2:20pm

The most effective consequences are to tell him what you know- what you will not put up with and TO MEAN IT.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Thu, 06-24-2010 - 4:10pm

I'm certainly NOT a pro, but I've read this situation a zillion times here at iV.