Emotional Affair & Where to go From Here

This is STILL very iffy. We say here often you don't hide things if there's nothing TO hide, and he's still hiding that stupid phone - that speaks volumes. He's changing passwords, etc. - all he's doing is building a case against himself here, this does NOT sound to me like a guy who means he wants it to work out. He is supposed to do exactly the opposite of what he's doing. It's not a matter of "I won't be in touch with her any more IF YOU DON'T WANT ME TO" - that's backwards. It should be HIS immediate decision this second to tell YOU I've already permanently cut off contact, you don't even have to ask! He is also supposed to make himself an open book to you from this minute on, OFFERING up all passwords, giving you total access to his phone(s), e-mail, everything. THIS is how he begins to rebuild trust, without that, without a permanent and immediate end to all contact, you have nothing to work with, nothing at all. Those of us whose spouses did do all of that will tell you that even WITH all of that, it was still he!! even TRYING to stay together, but without it? Forget it, you don't have a prayer, trust will never return - how could it? Do not let him convince you any of this is your doings - it matters not if your marriage WAS unhappy or your finances a mess - he made a totally conscious choice to have what obviously is an emotional affair, and it can hurt even MORE than a physical one for many of us because he gave away what belonged solely to you - that sense that you were cherished and the emotional connection that women want so much in the first place. He will change his tune if he wants your marriage, he won't if he doesn't. That's how this works.