Ended the affair or not??

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Ended the affair or not??
10
Wed, 04-08-2009 - 4:15pm
I might sound naive here, but I really thought my husband understood all that he would loose if he continued contact with OW.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Wed, 04-08-2009 - 4:32pm
There's nothing wrong with paranoia if they're really out to get you.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 12:50am
I think the wishy-washy stuff needs to come to an end.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 1:32am

Does he know you saw their emails? He knows you have the password right? If you have not told him what you saw then you might want to wait and see if anything else comes up before you confront. Have you told OW face to face to back off? If our H can't seem to be firm then WE can. I really regret not confronting OW right away

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-18-2007
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 8:06am

Just popping in to give my 2 cents (objectively I guess, since I'm not in this type of situation)


>>Have you told OW face to face to back off? If our H can't seem to be firm then WE can. I really regret not confronting OW right away

Meez 3D avatar avatars games


&nb
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 04-09-2009 - 2:18pm

If he promised you no contact, then I would make it very clear to him that no contact is what I expected. He can not live with his foot in both worlds.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Fri, 04-10-2009 - 1:13pm

You are NOT crazy or paranoid.

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-02-2008
Tue, 04-14-2009 - 1:46pm

Thanks so much for all your feedback.

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 12:41pm
She doesn't care what you think of her - if she did, she wouldn't have gotten involved with your H.
iVillage Member
Registered: 06-05-2008
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 12:54pm

I had the same problem. My H was very wishy-washy. I think he believed if he ended things "nicely." Some manner of cordial behavior was possible, We have the added problem of living in a small town and see each other regularly. Our boys are in the same classes at school.

However, she took the SLIGHTEST polite attitude as though she still had a chance with him. She continued for over 18mths to try and get with my H. He won't admit this but I think for a while he felt guilty because he led her to believe he would leave me. (Of course he denies this but she had SOME reason to believe so.)

I really think she believes that he wanted to be with her but I was keeping him from doing so. (Hence her intense hatred of me.) How silly. If he'd wanted to go, I certainly couldn't have stopped him, nor would I want to be with a man that wants someone else!

He finally had to flat out tell her (months later) that he loved me, was staying with me and there was NO Chance he would leave me. Even so, she still will occasionally try something!

Good Luck!
-Beach

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-10-2009
Wed, 04-15-2009 - 2:16pm
There is no way to be wishy washy about this. He has to tell her it's over and no more contact! My H (in front of me) finally told the OW that he loved me and was going back to me. She was stunned and said she hated him and still called him again! It takes a while for them to get the message so your H has to be firm w/her.