is this enough to end a marriage?

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2010
is this enough to end a marriage?
5
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 1:44am
my husband and i visited a friend in ca. our first family trip ever! we stayed at my best friends house. she has a roommate we have never met. the 3rd night i went to bed with our 2 boys and my husband stayed up with the roommate drinking wine. i felt nervous about this, as i felt he had an attraction to her. i had never been worried about him straying before, but i felt uncomfortable with the way they hit it off so well. i went out to check on them and asked my husband what they were doing, (out of her ear shot), he made me feel confident that i was being silly and nothing was going on. i went to bed, but minutes later i felt very sick and needed to check on them again. i walked in on them. they were on the couch, he was on top of her, i saw the look of ecstasy on her face as they were making out. i am sure if i waited a few more minutes clothes would be off! he said it was the first time, yes, the first time he decides to cheat on me is when i am in the next room with our kids in a good friends house! he says it was just a kiss, i saw it, i saw him on top of her, i saw her face! she was really into it as i am sure he was, but i only saw the back of his head. tell me i am not over reacting. i am being accused of ending an 11 year union cause my husband "kissed a girl"
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2010
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 11:18pm

If my wife did that I would have beat the hell out of my friend then left my wife.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 5:08pm

He is minimizing what he did.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-12-2010
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 8:56am

You are a better woman than I am. I would have beat the crap out of them both. Anyway, you shouldn't be surprised that the skank-ho was enjoying it, women like her enjoy any little piece of a man they can get. Their self worth is boosted by the fact that a MM would take a risk for them with his W in the next room. The fact that you were uncomfortable and you expressed this to your DH and he reassured you and still tried to get with the skank is a real serious violation. Are you sure your DH hadn't met the skank before? Are you sure they didn't already know each other? Cheaters are so manipulative honest ppl really never know where the lies end and the truth begins. Did you make your DH tell her that it was a serious mistake and tell her that he would NEVER see or hear from him again? This needs to be done. The issue is not that

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 8:34am

Hugs Poppym

I agree with myradorn, don't do anything rash before you speak to a counselor. I would also add that I wouldn't believe anything your H tells you! He's making out in the room opposite to where his wife and children are sleeping and "it's the first time" !!!? How disrespectful and bold!

The question is is your H willing to go to counseling? Does he have remorse? Does he have empathy for your feelings? How does he explain himself?

many hugs to you, Ollie

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Tue, 07-13-2010 - 2:18am
You're nicer than me.