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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2012
facebook
13
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 2:47am

i've been married for almost 13 years....

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iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2012
In reply to: pamom2012
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 3:10am
i feel like a sitting duck...like it will only take a minute until he " falls" again...i've caught him in one lie already...one woman who he wrote to negatively in past about me about posted somethng very simple and i saw he deleted it..when i asked him if he has heard from her he denied it...strike one
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2011
In reply to: pamom2012
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 3:37am
Pamom- I am not even a year out, still married. I know now that I will never move past the affair(s). They are now integrated into our relationship as the catalyst that changed everything. Some changes are good, some not so good and Come with the territory. I will never give him the trust I once did. I know now I cannot. I guess what I am saying here is that don't be so hard on yourself for what you are feeling. Your husband has lanced open a semi-healed wound with one of the biggest tools he carried an affair out with. You have every right to question, analyze his behavior. His "I'll prove it" statement sounds like manipulation. He is being selfish and very empathetic to you and your fears. I believe that wen we are in relationship we shouldn't do anything that makes the other uncomfortable. I believe a betrayer has to take that further in that they should never do anything purposefully that causes a trigger of the affair. So again, you are at a crossroads. What to do? You don't want the facebook account, you tell him. Remind him why. Ask him what is really going on with him. Your intuition has kicked into high gear. Head it. Keep us posted.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
In reply to: pamom2012
Mon, 01-23-2012 - 7:41am

(((pamom)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: pamom2012
Tue, 01-24-2012 - 2:21pm
Was there an agreement that he would not reopen his facebook account at any time? Personally I would not even tell him you have the password to the account if I were you. That way you can keep an eye on his behavior and you'll know how committed to the marriage he actually is.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: pamom2012
Tue, 01-24-2012 - 2:24pm

Did he answer her post?

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2012
In reply to: pamom2012
Tue, 01-24-2012 - 6:25pm
well.... everytime he brought up the subject of fb... i would say.. NOOOOOOO...can't even handle that thought yet !!!!
and even though i have password , he has just been deleting everything....:(((((
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-23-2012
In reply to: pamom2012
Tue, 01-24-2012 - 6:26pm
not that i can tell, but he is deleting things already
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
In reply to: pamom2012
Wed, 01-25-2012 - 1:26am
Well that's not good at all.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
In reply to: pamom2012
Wed, 01-25-2012 - 4:11am

I agree completely that as women we just learn somehow that we are expected to "take care" of all that goes on in our family.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
In reply to: pamom2012
Wed, 01-25-2012 - 9:38am

I agree with peacyma and Myra.

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