The Fallout - More Bad News

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
The Fallout - More Bad News
8
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 6:52am

Well, the worst thing left to happen that my wife was fearful has finally happened.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-03-2009
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 12:23pm

i guess you'll know for sure

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2010
Sat, 02-13-2010 - 1:10pm

She has suffered, but it's all she brought on herself. She also hurt you.... I felt sorry for him initially, the addiction, his past (I didn't know he cheated on me at the time) but

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2009
Sun, 02-14-2010 - 12:45pm

"Well, her phone number has changed, her job has changed, friends have changed, email has changed, home address has changed, and she hasn't had contact with him for three years. I'm not worried"


I thought she changed jobs....I am confused. Why did she have to come clean about being on Vicodin?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 10:27am

I think if I understood correctly that

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-09-2007
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 12:33pm

Right on the money. Well today she is home, called in sick, depressed, crying, can't handle this. She really screwed up big time. Not only has it hurt our family, it has damaged her reputation and harmed her climb up the corporate ladder at her company. She said when she left that meeting, she could only see disgust in her manager's eyes.

I only hope that she sees what she has done. How two months of pleasure has destroyed everything. Our oldest child called her a slut the other day. I hope that this has taught a lesson.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2008
Mon, 02-15-2010 - 2:42pm
What I learned from therapy with my H after his A, some people hit bottom and change, some people see what is happening to them and stop before they hit bottom, some people have to hit bottom again and again, and some people hit bottom several times and have to loose everything before they even think about what they have done, and then they change.
I have to say that the A behavior is one thing, but the drug behavior on top points to a very bad "internal" compass. No, I do not believe the HR reprimand is going to stop your w's behavior as the behavior is tied directly to some "missing" part in your W. This issue needs to be sought out by your W, explored by your W, and addressed to completion by your W.... with her therapist. My H had similar issues with drugs, depression, and other various bad acting out behaviors. He did intensive therapy and MC and we are doing well at the 3 yr Dday mark. Until your W does the hard work--( and yes it will be a slow process, with crazy times of reflection, admission, shame and sadness, but it will be worth it in the end to heal and progress as a person. It will be a very time/emotion consuming process for you to watch from the sidelines. I kept my children in the dark, as I did not want them to change their relationship with their father, but my children are very small. Good luck on this long road to recovery, should you choose to accompany your W on her journey.
iVillage Member
Registered: 12-24-2009
Tue, 02-16-2010 - 2:15pm
Okay, Thanks!
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-16-2010
Tue, 02-16-2010 - 4:31pm

Luigi,


I do feel sorry for my