First Time Here

iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
First Time Here
4
Thu, 08-06-2009 - 10:04pm

I don't know how to deal with the emotions I'm dealing with now, so I thought I'd tell my story.


My husband and I were highschool sweethearts then broke up during college and got together afterwards.

<a href="http://www.baby-gaga.com/"><img src="http://tickers.baby-gaga.com/t/foxfoxard20081210_-

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: sokolosk
Fri, 08-07-2009 - 8:11am
Welcome to the board.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-19-2008
In reply to: sokolosk
Mon, 08-10-2009 - 6:28pm

Thanks Lily.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
In reply to: sokolosk
Mon, 08-10-2009 - 7:12pm
I think he does love you as best he can - but there is something bigger than that and that is who he is.
Avatar for pater_familia
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-12-2008
In reply to: sokolosk
Wed, 08-12-2009 - 2:24am

"He is just someone who is right now very misguided in his choices of friends"

I've had a few friends, male and female who have had this experience. The press that I work for has published scholarly essays on this subject.

In my tradition. Religious leaders use to push gay men to marry women thinking it would help them become straight. The fact is that it ends up only frustrating both people and causes a lot of hurt feelings. He may well be bisexual, but the fact is that he's not capable of keeping his feelings within the marriage. This will in all likelihood end badly if you chose to pursue the marriage. He's most likely been lying to himself for most of his life about his homosexuality, and he's not been honest with you. Why would you think he's being honest right now?

Go to therapy and mediation. Find a way to part as friends. This is in no way your fault. The truth is most likely that you are both victims here. Victims of culture. My heart goes out to you.

There are a lot of books on this topic. If you can't find any. Let me know, I know a few from my local tradition. I would be happy to contact the authors and see if they know of any good scholarly, nationally released books on the topic.

Thomas

5 kids ages 16-10, D Day: August, 2008

What's I'm doing to rebuild: Therapy, Books, Exercise, Forgiveness.

Thomas

We have five kids. Our D-Day was in August, 2008.