Found "escort services" in husbands browsing history.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004
Found "escort services" in husbands browsing history.
11
Wed, 12-21-2011 - 5:42pm

I am in my late 40's and coming up on 30 yrs. of M. For the last several years I have been so happy thinking that our relationship is the best it's ever been. I have had some medical problems and due to hormone issues, intercourse is extremely painful and I bleed every time (I've been working with a Dr. but no success so far). I never deny my husband other ways of pleasing him and he's been very supportive and tells me he doesn't feel deprived.

On our second day of a two week family vacation I was on his computer and found the browsing history (he's only had it one month) was full of Myredbook.com ads for "escort" services. Most of them were in the town he works in which is about 45 min. from our home. I have never known him to be interested in porn or anything like this and I am in shock. I was up until 3:30 am this morning trying to figure out this site but it looks like you have to be a VIP paying member to access the area's he was looking at.

I must have said something to tip him off that I know because the very next morning he erased all his suspicious browsing history and told some family members that *someone* had been looking at porn on his computer, which is stupid because the computer had always been in plain site of everyone and the browsing dates went back to when he first got his computer. So, he is clearly trying to cover his tracks.

I am now finding myself weighing my options, I know for a fact if I confront him on just this with no evidence he will deny, deny, deny. I am trying to figure out how to find out for sure, do I hire a PI, install spy ware on his computer, make him take a lie detector test? My head is spinning, I have planned to spend the rest of my life with this man and now my future seems so uncertain as I know I cannot live with a man who can do this to me.

BTW, I gave up a career to raise our now adult children and now I have Fibromyalgia so any job prospects are bleak. Any thoughts or suggestions on how I can find out for sure?

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iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008

Cowgirlsup,

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004

Thank you so much Ollie,

According to the web site, most women want the men to call them, not email. My husband's cell is from work and I do

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
You could install a key logger program to find out for sure.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008

(((cowgirlsup)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-24-2011
So sorry to hear about your situation. What I did was installed a tracker on both his cell phone and work computer. (he owns his own business and I help him out from time to time so I was able to have access to it). I tried a few different services the one that worked for me was www.sonar central.com ( awareness technologies). Just make sure you pay with a paypal account since it is easier to get refunds if there is an issue. Also make sure he has a type of phone that is supported. This service has an 800 number as well as instant chat for issues. In my situation I had to install it why he was sleeping so I really needed my questions answered then. This service costs around 70 dollars a yr. On the computer I get a key logger, email info, websites he visited and searches he made. It also takes screen shots of various things, you can set up specific words or names to take pics of. There are tons of services the first one I tried didn't work. Counseling has helped the most for me and I am truly not sure if I will ever trust him again. This monitoring can be unhealthy but for me right now it is comforting and hopefully I will be able to move on. I just keep on praying to make the right decision, I just wish we all had a crystal ball and would know what the best thing is to do. Sending hugs and support.
iVillage Member
Registered: 10-14-2011

It sounded like I was reading my mail when I read you post... I am going through exactly the same circumstances as you are. You can read my post I just wrote... I also found everything on the computer, and he denied it to the hilt. Even with the evidence in front of him he lied.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-18-2004

Update - After spending hours and days of exhaustion trying to filter through cell phone and email info, looking into spyware, lowjack etc. I decided to just confront him with the information I had. He tried to deny but I told him I didn't

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008

(((cowgirlsup)))

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008

Just remember you are NOT responsible for anything he has done, incl. putting a gun to his head.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-20-2001
Aren't u a cheater yourself or are u making up this story? Your old posts on IV are about your A's. Something doesn't add up. Sorry to be so negative if this is all true but if it's not, shame on you!

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