Give me direction

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2008
Give me direction
14
Mon, 01-26-2009 - 10:00pm

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iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2006
In reply to: kbzdad
Mon, 01-26-2009 - 11:33pm

I am sorry you find yourself here, but know you have found a safe place to vent, with people who understand your pain.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
In reply to: kbzdad
Tue, 01-27-2009 - 3:49am

She's still having an affair with him, and as long as he is in your life AT ALL, you will never move forward at all.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2008
In reply to: kbzdad
Tue, 01-27-2009 - 9:34am
Thanks for your replys. I am aware of those things at least on an intelectual level, but through this experience I have found some faith in a higher power and I am torn and confused between choosing between the facts and what I think is a higher purpose. How much pain do I accept or try to deal with it for the good of the "Family" ????
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-16-2006
In reply to: kbzdad
Tue, 01-27-2009 - 9:51am

That is certainly what everybody has to weigh, but it is not good for the family if mom is seeing someone outside the marriage and dad is being tied to an emotional rollercoaster. Good for the family may be you telling your wife you just won't live this way anymore; it is not healthy for you or the family.

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2006
In reply to: kbzdad
Tue, 01-27-2009 - 11:04am

kbzdad,


I have been on this board for two and a half years, and have seen many times, the experience you are going through, not to mention the fact that I have experienced the exact same thing myself.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2008
In reply to: kbzdad
Tue, 01-27-2009 - 12:10pm
Tis, I guess what I mean is since this happened I have read book after book, joined church groups, and gone to several counselors. And I have realized that it took two of us to make our relationship weak, and she did ask me to help her before this happened and I just couldnt HEAR it, is it my fault that she cheated, no, did I help us weak enough to give it room to breath, I believe so, I lost sight of making and taking time to show her and myself why we started this journey in the first place. I do LOVE her even though I dont understand why after this. I want to think through growth and perserverance and understanding that we are all imperfect, and that the fairy tale doesnt really exist, that we could make a happy, and foremost healthy life together with some divine intervention, although I have Hope and the deepest doubts all at the same time, and I do believe right now she IS really trying to not see him and look within herself to shine light on her issues, but I still sit here waiting and hurting, only to think I may be being the fool again.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2007
In reply to: kbzdad
Tue, 01-27-2009 - 12:22pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 06-24-2006
In reply to: kbzdad
Tue, 01-27-2009 - 3:48pm

Kbz,


The place you are at right now is an all too familiar one.

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-17-2008
In reply to: kbzdad
Tue, 01-27-2009 - 5:13pm
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2007
In reply to: kbzdad
Wed, 01-28-2009 - 9:32am

I'm so sorry this has happened to you Kbz .... I don't think I've been much help to you.


Keep posting here. There's lots of people who are going through the same thing, and who are much better at putting it into words than me. You'll receive lots of support, so you've come to the right place.


Bridget xx


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