grrr. wife at it again

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2008
grrr. wife at it again
101
Sat, 01-17-2009 - 6:09pm

*Sorry if this is a double post, I tried posting earlier and I think I hit the wrong button*

DDay was 9/4/08

Things have gotten progressivley better since mid-October, up until recently at least.

I've been becoming suspicious over the last 2 weeks or so- 3 instances where my wife couldn't account for her time after being gone for a few hours shopping.

She's has gotten grouchy towards me and more aloof.

I've been checking her emails but haven't found anything suspicious.

This morning I found something on her computer, an google IM. She had called me at work yesterday about how to set up a yahoo or a gmail account, but I didn't htink anything of it at the time. We have a joint Gmail account that we both use, but her browser history was wiped and the IM window showed a difrerent gmail login name (herown) and a name of a man in her contact list (more about this later). I wasunableto open her gmail account, but as luck would have it, it opens from the IM window if you click an icon (found this out by accident).

I found two chat sessions last night- she was up late after I went to bed. They chatted about hiding her tracks from chatting and internet- my wife was worried because she described me as a 'computer wizard' (I'm really not). From the conversation, OM wanted her to install another IM so he could send her webcams, but she wasn't able to because of her lack of admin priviledges on her work computer. She installed it on my computer- a computer she hasn't use once int he last 6 years.

I tried to put a keylogger on her computer but failed for the same reasons that she couldn't install an IM. But I put a logger on my computer. I think now I'm going to sit back and see what kind of fish I catch- probably going to put together a package to mail to OM's wife (he's the same guy that was sending her explicit emails back in september and my wife was supposed to be 'no-contact' with). Having him worry about what his own wife is going to do will probably make him a little less interested in mine.

This whole ball of crap has taken its toll on me since September- I had a bad last quarter at work and lost my raise and bonus (I'm scrambling now just to keep my job). A guy who is only 36 shouldn't know a cardiologist, but I do because of my heart skipping (cardiologist says its caused by too much caffeine or too much stress(premature ventricular contractions)- I cut out the caffeine, but its still doing it. I also have weird eye problem (leaking retina) which the opthamologist says is usually linked to stress.
The stress caused illnesses alone have cost thousands of dollars- laser scan of my eyes, trip to the ER when my I first noticed my heart malfunctioning, and various doctor consultations including with a cardiologist.

I need vacation- from my wife.

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iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 11:40am

Hey Brian, I've been wondering how things have been going for you and I'm sorry to read not so great.


I'm wondering if you set any boundaries or consequences with your wife? What did you say (if anything) would occur if she continued to be in contact with OM?

Solazzo

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 12:22pm
Just make sure you don't accidently answer the phone when she calls. Won't she figure it out though as soon as she calls and it's not HIS message on the voicemail?
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-24-2004
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 12:37pm
I was thinking he wants her to know it's him...catching her red handed at what she's denying, dismissing and minimizing...

Solazzo


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Solazzo

iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 12:55pm
This was one of my H's tricks - he listed the last OW under her H's name.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 12:58pm
Yea you're right. I wasn't thinking about it that way. I was thinking about him wanting her to leave OM a message so he would have a recording of her voicemail he could surprise her with and play for her on speaker mode. But I guess if she does call and it's him when she was expecting OM it will be an even bigger surprise for her. Like to see the look on her face if that happens though. I'm sure it won't be pretty.
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 1:04pm
May I add that was a pretty slick move though. Never would have worked for me though as H knows the cell no. He did do the putting OW name under a mans name though. I think all cheaters must read the same manual.


Edited 1/19/2009 1:06 pm ET by peaceyma
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2008
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 1:39pm

Here's the IM I intercepted. After she logged off her computer, she logged on to mine, and installed yahoo IM (I could tell by the time/date stamp on the icons left on my computer.


iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2008
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 1:45pm

This a person that she claims is a 'good friend' of hers and is harmless and that I'm completely overblowing as a threat to our marriage.


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 2:27pm
Regardless of who this guy is she still doesn't need to be talking to other men online unless it is at work and only about business related matters. It sounds like she's trying to set up a new account to talk to him if I understand this correctly.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-13-2008
Mon, 01-19-2009 - 3:12pm

That is exactly what is going on.


I disabled her laptop- it will no longer connnect to the wireless network in the house until I reset the password on it. I plan to go to bed early every night in hopes that she logs onto my computer to check her secret accounts- then I'll have her passwords and will

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