With A guy with 2 girlfriends..

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2009
With A guy with 2 girlfriends..
10
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 2:40am
I just wanted to tell my story...i was with a guy for about a year and i really fell in love with him...he said i was his girlfriend, he loved me, gave me gifts, treated me well, supported me emotionally..he didn't live close to me so he really made an effort to fly down to los angeles to see me...found out on new year's day that he had another girlfriend of 3 years...i got so confused and hurt, and i don't know anyone who can relate to the pain that i feel...i made really good friends with the other girlfriend, and i talked to her like
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Tue, 04-21-2009 - 8:51am

This guy has shown you who he is. Believe it.


he said i was his girlfriend, he loved me, gave me gifts, treated me well, supported me emotionally..he didn't live close to me so he really made an effort to fly down to los angeles to see me...found out on new year's day that he had another girlfriend of 3 years.


You realize that all of that was a lie now. You are missing the guy that you thought he was, not the guy he actually is. He is dishonest and he cheats.

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2008
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 1:24am

I'm still stuck on the part as to why you want this idiot back. him and his "signicant other" ( b/c that is what she is, not a girlfriend, "significant other to help feel his void) seems like they fit quite well; both classless. I can gurantee you that he is doing the same thing to her with another women that he had done with you. She is a lunatic to want him back after what he did to the both of you. She is a weak and selfless women and doesn't know that true meaning of dignity.


I know the pain hurts and it will take quite a bit of time to get over and adjust. You're right, many don't understand your pain

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2009
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 3:31pm

Dear Fivediamondwife,


i have a couple questions hidden in here...and i would LOVE to hear your opinion on anything...u are so intelligent and insightful that i really want to know what u think :)


Thank you so much!...u have made me feel so much better..u are beyond insightful and I am probably going to be reading your advice over and over again for a long time in order to gain clarity that may not come over night...u definitely seem to have advice that really points out what is going on with this horrible man...i feel bad that he has such mental control over me, but u are right in the long run i will be the winner here...i do have a big ego, just because i am a hard worker and i feel like i was the ugly duckling before but have evolved so i am really hurt that he would want a classless loser over me...but i do think it has a lot to do with her being a doormat...he told me he picked her because her love was "unconditional"...guess mine isn't! haha, because i can't be the doormat he wants...


may I mention also that he has extorted (yes i sought legal advice and picked up this term) money from me...what happened was, i was SO upset that he was coming down for valentine's day to work things out with her that i used some choice words on email...he was clearly not that upset enought at the time but after this whole situation i asked him (probably shouldn't have) for over 1000 dollars for all the hotel bills i paid for, for a relationship that was a lie...he paid me...and his other girlfriend found out and asked for 5000 dollars and he refused and asked me for the money back...i said "no" and he told ME THAT IF I DIDN'T GIVE THE MONEY BACK HE WOULD GO TO THE POLICE WITH MY EMAILS SAYING HE FELT THREATENED. to make matters worst he harrassed me on text messages, saying he wants the money back and honestly the other girl seemed to be in on it because she was helping me find a way to pay him back...probably because she knew that he would buy her something...so petty! how threatened can he be if he never went to the police in the first place? anyways, that scared me so much that i gave the money back because i was so afraid that my career/life/prison time...i have learned that in relationships never say things out of anger, u never know when they will be used against u...can u beleive how ruthless he is? honestly, tell me if u were me, would u have sought a lawyer for extortion? i wanted to but it is just too much drama and i can't afford the 400/hour pay rate for one!


he did treat me like trash with the whole money thing, and the other girl was probably so happy because she got some roses or she felt favoured...but how favoured can she be? you are right...he will cheat again, he LOVES attention...he had so many reasons to break up with me (different towns/hard to see me) but he NEVER did...so he will do that to her again...


i believe in karma and i feel bad for saying it, but i hope they get what they deserve after they almost drove me into the lowest points of my life...i am a happy person and look at what they did to me? i told myself that i can never let losers get the best of me...i have to fight on


iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2009
Wed, 04-22-2009 - 3:49pm

Dear Prime Cupcake,


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 04-23-2009 - 9:48am

I like your spunk and spirit girl. You actually asked him to return the money that you wasted on him and he did. I love it!!!

iVillage Member
Registered: 10-27-2008
Fri, 04-24-2009 - 3:18pm

Well If I were you, I would try to get back into hobbies/activities that you enjoy doing. Maybe go out with some friends or family members and just get away. Sometimes we have to leave certain baggage behind before we began to find happiness.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2009
Wed, 04-29-2009 - 1:38pm

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Thu, 04-30-2009 - 9:27am

...how do I just get that nagging feeling that I need to contact her and yell at her to feel better?


Your ego is bruised and you feel yelling at her is going to make you feel better.You momentarily think...

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-21-2009
Sun, 05-03-2009 - 9:53pm

Dear Fivediamondwife,


iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Mon, 05-04-2009 - 5:07pm