Has anyone heard from Planin/Kathleen?

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-14-2008
Has anyone heard from Planin/Kathleen?
Sun, 06-21-2009 - 5:36pm

Please - if someone has heard from her off the boards, please let me know that she's alright.

iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Sun, 06-21-2009 - 8:55pm
I have been wondering about her also and I hope she is alright. I hope one of our posters can tell us something positive or better yet, Planin, are you there?
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Sun, 06-21-2009 - 9:36pm

I have not seen anything since then either.

iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Sun, 06-21-2009 - 10:49pm
I am worried about her too. I haven't seen anything from her or GTW fan either for a while. I was wondering how both of them were.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-13-2008
Sun, 06-21-2009 - 11:02pm
I was going to post this same thing...I have been very worried about both those gals...they stopped posting when they were both having such a hard time. Does anyone have an email for either?
iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2009
Mon, 06-22-2009 - 7:51am
I also am concerned.
iVillage Member
Registered: 05-09-2008
Mon, 06-22-2009 - 7:58am
I think about them often and wish I had an iota of their strength. PLEASe let us know your OK ladies!
iVillage Member
Registered: 11-11-2008
Mon, 06-22-2009 - 11:56am
Me too--I've been checking for posts from her and also am concerned. I hope someone has some good news.
God bless you Kathleen.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 12:08am

i wanted to thank you for still caring.

i received an email yesterday telling me that someone had started a post asking if anyone had heard from me.

when i found out that my h had been lieing about the cancer i think i just broke. at first i was angry then depressed then i just crawled in my self built hole and barely functioned. but your reaching out amongst other things prodded me into calling my shrink and making an appt to go back into treatment.

i felt so embarassed that i could be taken for such a ride, such a cruel ride. but as one of the posters wrote 'i was using it as an excuse not to leave'........... how sad is it that my own husband knew how weak i was that i would rally to his needs, and he used that. he told me that he got sick of having to answer for his past and thought this was a way to shut me up about it. he felt if i was concerned for his health that i would give him a break and not bring it up. well, guess what i fell for it hook, line, and sinker. i rarely brought it up after that. too worried that his health could not handle the stress. what a friggin idiot i am.

none the less just knowing that someone i do not even know other than thru the computer lines cared enough to continue to reach out meant more than you will ever know.

i am trying to refocus, put the emphasis on me and not on him or what he did. i need to find a way to change my thought patterns - i can not do anything about he past, but i can sure as heck look to the future. it is going to take a great deal of work, but i simply must find the old me once again. i need to stop the negative messages my mind keeps playing back over and over and start with a new tape.

thank you, thank you, thank you for caring. pride, and embarassment kept me from facing how pitiful i had become.

i hope that some day i can do for someone what you did for me.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-19-2008
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 10:34pm

Planin, you did lots more for us than we could ever do for you.

me & hubby : 26 years old
married for 2.5 years, have a son 20 months old
d-day : August 06, 2008

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-05-2006
Thu, 06-25-2009 - 11:14pm

rainie jane, i hope there are mostly sunny days in your life now.

that is what i am finally doing regrouping. i have had much practice at being the dejected sad wife but now am going to aim for being an expert at being happy. happy for me. i am filling myself up with positive statements about me. no more dwelling on what he did, why he did it or even him. almost 32 years of that is enough.

thank you for your kind words. i am amazed at the love and generous feelings you all have shared with me. i truly was believing that i was a failure - even at these message boards. it angered me to the enth degree just how many 'primarily' men are betrayors. the amount of pain on these boards could fill up every body of water on our planet. isn't it amazing - life is suppose to be so simple. love, those 4 letters mean so much don't they.

i can remember thinking that hopefully the upcoming generation of females will be different. i know from own perspective my two daughters (i have 3 but the oldest is special needs) are nothing like me. the oldest who is 31 oh my goodness, no way on Gods green earth would she live with, put up with what i have. while as i have posted my husband has been cheating since early on in our marriage it was never known by our children. no, i hid it and hit it well. but i raised them to believe that they are all of that and a bag of chips. i raised them to love themselves first. i raised them to demand certain qualities from those they held close. as i told them treat others as you would like to be treated - but, if ANYONE ever attempts to degrade you RUN LIKE HEL*!!!!!!!!!! it wasn't until 04 when everything kind of blew up. that was when they all learned of their fathers true nature including the fact he had fathered an illegitimate daughter. unfortunately the truth tore apart his relationships will his kids primarily our baby. she was hurt beyond belief, their relationship is better now, but is strained severely.

integrity, that is what we are judged by - the way we carry ourselves. what a sad legacy my h is going to leave behind.

thank you again.