Is he cheating?

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
Is he cheating?
7
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 10:31am

I've been here before but its been a few years. Apparently, my 3rd DH is very much like my 2nd. I'm divorcing him because he is a narcissist who is damaging my self-esteem and that of my children. Anhow, once I made the decision to divorce some interesting information came to light.

First, my mom tells me that my sister overheard her employees discussing exactly why the local taekwondo instructor (stbx) has a futon in his office.

This prompts me to take a look through his email. I find a message from a client referring to the "futon incident" and telling him that she's in a relationship now and her BF doesn't want her to have any further contact with him but what he doesn't know won't hurt him. When I confront stbx he says she was going to buy the futon and she's just weird.

So then yesterday my stepson was helping me move and tells me something he saw at the karate school. They were having an all night "lock in" and one of the chaparones was a single mom. He said they were laying on each other and stbx was giving her massages. Then they disappear in to the office for about 30 min and she comes out wearing his sweatshirt. Stbx says nothing about the cuddly stuff, says she kept crying because her grandfather had died the day before and he took her into the office to tell her if she was going to keep crying she might as well go home. He said yeah she might have been wearing his sweatshirt like it was no big deal. Now this is the same person who paid him to remodel her bathroom and he would go over *after* classes to work on it until 1 or 2 in the morning.

To me it seems pretty obvious he's been cheating but I have no solid evidence and he won't admit it. I moved out yesterday. I'm really questioning my decision and it would make me more certain I am doing the right thing if I knew he was cheating. I'm considering contacting OW to see if she'll admit to it. And by the way he's a terrible flirt and there are rumors of him having an affair with almost every female he has contact with. So was he cheating? What do you gals think? Do you think OW would admit to it?

Morgaine

iVillage Member
Registered: 12-16-2003
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 11:35am
He's cheating... and he's arrogant about it, thinking you and everyone else is too stupid to catch him, or too scared to call him on it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 11:40am
I wouldn't waste my time or breath on the other woman - what makes you think she would tell you the truth if your own H won't?
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-04-2009
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 12:33pm
I withheld my comments for a while to see what others would say but I can't see any other way to look at it.

"If something cannot go on forever, it will stop."  Herb Stein

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 1:17pm
Argh! I'm just dying to know. He told me to go ahead and contact all the women with whom he's supposedly had affairs. Even if he didn't wouldn't he be worried that would hurt business. Or perhaps he is certain I won't do it.
iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 2:40pm
I'm usually not fond of telling anybody to get a divorce, and I won't here, either.

 

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
Thu, 03-19-2009 - 8:29pm
Well,
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-11-2007
Fri, 03-20-2009 - 4:56pm
Today I withdrew all the money from all his business accounts to pay my lawyer.