He didn't ALWAYS use a condom

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-07-2010
He didn't ALWAYS use a condom
2
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 11:59am

Last night, 3 months after D-Day, I found out that he didn't always use a condom. Of COURSE I asked him on D-Day if he'd used a barrier method, and he said yes. And then a few days later, after he got the initial "all clear" from his STD tests (HIV window is 6 months, though), I said something to the effect of how he sentenced himself to 6 months of condom use with me. He said that he and the OW had had a very long conversation about STDs, and she said that she got tested after every partner and had been given the all clear. So I felt that with that knowledge, and that he'd used a condom with her, I was safe. We've had a great no-condom sex-life for the last 3 months.

Last night, don't ask me why, I was thinking about how my husband said one night recently (because he was struggling with a condom since I was on antibiotics) that he and condoms don't get along. So I asked (seeking reassurance, thinking this answer wouldn't conflict with any previous knowledge), "So did you start with a condom and end without?" After he flew off the handle about how I just can't let things go and have such bad timing(we were getting ready for a night of intimacy), I pressed for an answer. He said, "No. At first we used condoms, but after we had the talk about how she gets tested frequently, we stopped using them since she was on birth control."

So again I'm in turmoil wondering what I can trust, and what other questions he hasn't given me a complete answer to. He swears he tried to make this clear to me, and I reminded him exactly how those conversations went down.

Meanwhile I'm on my 4th yeast infection in the last 6 months, and now I'm terrified to think that it could be a symptom of something more serious. And I don't think that he really gets why I'm so upset: He trusted someone with my life and didn't bother to tell me about it.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-25-2009
Sun, 03-21-2010 - 7:15pm
time for no touchy till you get checked out... your emotional, mental health needs confirmation as much as your heart and your ...... Maybe by you letting him know that until you get this whole thing straightened out you two won't be intimate will give him a bit of time to realize the depth of your feelings.
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-22-2010
Mon, 03-22-2010 - 2:27am
Just a lil info for you...yeast infections can and are quite often caused by antibiotic use. Ask your gyne if you need to validate my statement.