Is he at it AGAIN

iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2004
Is he at it AGAIN
7
Fri, 07-31-2009 - 11:10pm
Well I have never done this before, but I had no where else to turn. So your help would be greatly appreciated. Six and a half years ago my husband informed me that he was not happy and left me, he moved in with another woman
iVillage Member
Registered: 04-16-2008
Fri, 07-31-2009 - 11:52pm
The fact that he would not talk to her in front of you and he has joined dating sites is very telling. I think he is still seeing her (when he claims he's out on his bike) and the dating sites? No one pays good money to join a dating site(s) if they don't intend to use them. If I were you I would get rid of him BEFORE he brings home an STD to you.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-19-2009
Sat, 08-01-2009 - 3:19am
I'm sorry to say
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-27-2003
Sat, 08-01-2009 - 1:04pm

Sadly, you have learned the hard way that there can be no rebuilding as long as the betrayer is in contact with the OW (other woman) and as long as he doesn't feel what he did was wrong.

Avatar for sofar_sogood
iVillage Member
Registered: 03-26-2003
Mon, 08-03-2009 - 4:36pm

Honey, I'm an old-timer here. I found this board a little over 8 years ago, when my husband cheated on me. We rebuilt, life was good, then started going bad, and right when it got the most miserable I finally stared the red flags in the face and realized most of the misery was coming from him and surprise, surprise, a whole lot of the same crap was going on in our lives that happened the first time. I confronted him, he denied, I found proof and now, here I am, heading for a divorce.


8 years ago, many wise women who'd been where I was gave me one sage piece of advice over and over and over. GO WITH YOUR GUT. You know this man. You know what makes him tick, what motivates him, and when he's hiding something. If you think something's up with him and her, I'd lay money on you being right. And even with her out of the equation (and it sounds like she's very much in the equation if we're talking nude pics and surprise visits to restaurants that she knows you frequent), what's he doing registering with dating sites? Whether he's met anybody on them or not, this is not the action of a man committed to his marriage.


Boot his butt out, and do it as soon as you can. If you need money, call in every favor you can get from friends and family. It's worth a little beating to your pride to rid yourself of a toxic man. I know.


Go with your gut. It's almost always right.

"Hope is not the conviction that something will turn out well but the certainty that something makes sense, regardless of how it turns out."
-- Vaclav Havel
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2004
Mon, 08-03-2009 - 11:36pm
Thanks for the reply. In answer to your question. Yes I am prepared to leave him if I catch him because I am tried of it all. Actually every day that goes just pushes me in that direction. I do not find the love in me that I use to have for him.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2004
Mon, 08-03-2009 - 11:43pm
I have actually called a PI to get proof. WOW, they make good money.
iVillage Member
Registered: 02-05-2004
Mon, 08-03-2009 - 11:53pm
Thank you this is exactly what I needed. It is nice to know that I am not the only one out there who chose to take their husband back. Everyone around me kept telling me not to do it, but we have children together. I always said I would not let my kids grow up in a divorced family like I did. It was awful! The kids are grown now and the oldest has even said that I was crazy for taking him back. So thanks to everyone for the support.