He never stopped--need support & advice

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2009
He never stopped--need support & advice
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 12:10pm

I don't even know where to begin.


iVillage Member
Registered: 01-13-2010
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 1:12pm

I have 2 fears with that--he will decide that he does not want to keep our family intact, or I will decide that"

iVillage Member
Registered: 01-28-2004
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 2:32pm
your taking the steps needed. your going to have up and down days. hang in there just a little bit more. Try and think of the positive things and write them down and look back it when your feeling down. that might help a little.
iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 2:50pm

Pband J2010,

Take a deep breathe... and read what you just wrote.

Your gut was speaking to you and that is how you knew that he was doing something. You felt it in his behavior

iVillage Member
Registered: 11-07-2009
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 3:42pm

He sent me this email after he left this morning, which I find to be completely bogus now:

For what it's worth, I'm sorry for hurting and lying to you. You deserve
better than that. I will start packing when I get home tonight, move it
over in the morning, and talk it over with

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 5:53pm

Ok at least some acknowledgement about his wrong doings. I agree not to put to much meaning to it.

This is what I would say.

I don't want a husband who does not know what he wants.

I want a husband that loves me and only me. I want him to look at me with love. I want a husband that puts me first and our marriage first.

iVillage Member
Registered: 08-07-2007
Tue, 04-13-2010 - 10:05pm

Honey I just read your other thread down below about the Guys search.

iVillage Member
Registered: 09-09-2008
Wed, 04-14-2010 - 1:14am
The best feedback I could give you is to focus on yourself now.


iVillage Member
Registered: 02-15-2008
Wed, 04-14-2010 - 1:00pm

fivediamondwife you rock!!!! You should be a cl.

pbandj, you deserve to be loved, respected and cherished don't accept anything less!! Fivediamond is right on the money!


iVillage Member
Registered: 03-09-2010
Wed, 04-14-2010 - 3:53pm

WOW! Where did you find that from! Bravo! I wish I had your hutspa! I did the exact opposite when I found out! I called him on it, I have proof of emails and phone calls, texted ow and emailed texts and her responses to my gmail account. Followed him to an event she was present at and popped in to say hi. Made all of us quite uncomfortable but I had to remind her I existed. Told H he was on probation and if things didn't turn around he could leave this summer. I'm getting all ducks in a row an making copies for the D if necessary. All the while playing the forgiving wife. In a way I am forgiving if it's real. He says it is. We will see. The kids now know there is trouble and they are worried poor dears. They will survive both ways I will too. I love what you said.

I share your pain. I am only in this 5-6 weeks and it is h*ll.
Stay on the boards. The rollercoaster ride of emotions has just begun. I wish you strength and courage.


"Do unto others as you would have done to you"


Hurts have taught me never to give up loving Be willing to take another risk and chance, otherwise tomorrow may be empty.
iVillage Member
Registered: 07-02-2008
Thu, 04-15-2010 - 1:58am

My H also went back to the affair when the dust settled after dday#1. I did not know about the continuing affair for over a year until I finally allowed my gut to tell me what I probably already knew deep down.